I feel like something in me snapped, like I'm broken now. I can't stop crying. It's been going on for about 2 months now. Today's my twentieth birthday. I've been crying on and off all day. I don't know why. It won't stop. It's happening all the time. I'll be sitting watching a film with my family and I'll get up and excuse myself to my room so I can cry for a couple minutes then go back out and finish watching the film with them. I can't seem to make it for more than a couple of hours without crying. I don't know why I'm crying and it just makes me more upset and I just cry more.
Currently, I'm on holiday from college. I have another week before I go back. I don't know how I'm going to survive it. Things are easier when I'm at school. I'm busy. I don't have time to cry. I only cried at night then. Here, I have no friends, no responsibilites, nothing. I sit and cry about nothing. I feel like I can't control it. It just creeps up on me. I'll be sitting reading a book and the next thing I know teardrops are hitting the pages. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm so tired. I just want it to end.
Hello Kate
So it is your birthday? Are there things going on in your life or some event to trigger stress or depression? Have you experienced a loss? Does your birthday or the holidays trigger sadness for you?
It seems your body is trying to tell you something. I have had days where I am crying like this. I have cried in restaurants, in the supermarket, and everywhere I had to go. Sometimes once you start...it is like a damn bursting and you feel like you cannot stop.
Have you had any sort of physical from your doctor? Have you seen your gynecologist lately? Sometimes our mood can be greatly affected by an underlying medical condition like...a malfunctioning thryroid, diabetes, a vitamin deficiency...the list goes on. Add to this...you are a young woman. Hormones may also be at play here. I know that I am at the mercy of my hormones at times. I feel that there is a very real connection.
I guess what I am trying to help you figure out is...is this mostly a biological reaction....something situational....or a little of both? Your doctor can probably begin to help you to figure this out.
Are you seeing a counselor at all? Do you think this would help?
Do you have any supports? Anybody to talk to about how you are feeling?
I don't blame you for feeling tired. Crying takes it out of you.
Awhile back I wrote a post about the depression symptom of crying. It may help you to read it and the comments.
So sorry that you are going through this. Know that we are listening and that we care. But it may be time to share what you are feeling with others there who can help you...maybe your family....a doctor...or a therapist.
Keep sharing. We will do our best to support you during this rough time. Hang in there. It does get better.
The holidays have never been a favorite of mine. However, this year they were better than normal. I was able to spend time with my younger sister, reconnect with family I hadn't seen in years, I excelled in my studies, and there's even a great guy who's interested in dating me. But I just feel...empty. I cry, but I'm not really sad. I don't really feel anything at all. I just feel like crying.
My family doesn't currently have life insurance, so a physical isn't really an option for me right now. I've never been to a gynecologist.
I saw a counselor once when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I stopped going after about a month, maybe two. My mom and stepdad said they didn't think it was worth it since there wasn't any changes.
I don't really know who to talk to. I have friends, but no one I'm extremely close to. I dont' know what I'd even say.