I am unknown to myself, and others around me...

Thank you. I wish I knew needlework...

i learned many years ago from a book i got at hobby lobby

i have also worked many jig saw puzzles

Thank you. I wish I knew needlework...

Can inner torment truly be decieved by talking and medication? Would it ever truly go away with something so simple? I only ask, because it seems like avoidence, rather than actually solving a problem. I also have a dog, and she is so annoying. She wants to go outside more than I'm willing to go.

I also take medication and have been involved in psychotherapy.  All our problems and solutions are unique, but we must continue the search or what else is there...........

I wonder if we, as people get depression like we do because people have made life too complicated. With every complex thing, we worry about it more, thus creating more stress.  We always have to do bigger and better. I will admit that the medicines and such are nice, but native americans, for example, were a happy people. The natives from colonial times, didn't need anything that was brought over, because they were content with their beliefs and customs. If you were to pretend to be of that time, don't you think that there would be less? The question for me lies in the fact of why. Why am I so depressed? Is it because I want more than what I have, and what I have isn't as great as I think it should be? (All of my ranting is more for me to figure things out, rather than for anyone else, in case someone gets offended.)

I wonder if we, as people get depression like we do because people have made life too complicated. With every complex thing, we worry about it more, thus creating more stress.  We always have to do bigger and better. I will admit that the medicines and such are nice, but native americans, for example, were a happy people. The natives from colonial times, didn't need anything that was brought over, because they were content with their beliefs and customs. If you were to pretend to be of that time, don't you think that there would be less? The question for me lies in the fact of why. Why am I so depressed? Is it because I want more than what I have, and what I have isn't as great as I think it should be? (All of my ranting is more for me to figure things out, rather than for anyone else, in case someone gets offended.)

I've never thought about it that way, and I nearly lost my mother nearly 8 years ago, when I was ten. I have depression through genetics, and the fact that my mother doesn't take meds, and when she did, it ended up being too many sleeping pills. The thing that worries me the most, though, is the fact that I have depression, and my mom especially doesn't understand. I think that if she would understand more, or try to, it would make life a lot better. (note- she also tends to blame me and my dad for all her problems.) I will warn you that anything that I'm putting down is something I don't know how to handle. I've never asked anyone out loud if everything is real, but I can definitely relate to what you been saying...( Except a hubby! lol )

Oh my I had no idea your were only 18.

OK, this is a hard time of life anyway.

I also have it my genetics, which is strange that I know that having been adopted and never meeting my mother.

I do really understand the mom situation though, my adopted mom is the same way.

What I can tell you from experience is that when all is said and done you just have to let go of anything you see as something others have put onto you.

My mom was just mean to me, and still is in some ways!

I am a mom now, which is why I also speak to you about a mothers understanding of her children (no matter how old they are).

First..

Sometimes a mom does not want to believe that her child could have anything wrong with them, and sometimes, although twisted it happens, it makes them happy so see that someone is feeling the same. Misery loves company!

My kids have had depression issues of their own, and it is hard if we happen to be having "bad" days at the same time. However having a mom like I did and being that I am about to graduate with a BS in psychology I really make sure to listen to them, and understand.

It seems like you need to just vent to anybody that will listen and care.

So what, your Mom did this and that. Your mom does not controll who you become, what you think, what you think about yourself, your destiny, You Do!

Please believe in yourself!

Tell yourself every day that you are needed in this strange world, and that you are worth it. You do not fear what is ahead because you know you can handle anything!

It's strange, but it's like the ads say...

NO FEAR!

Also, it really helps to weed out any people in your life that are hellbent on keeping you down. If you have to deal with them, like your Mom just keep in mind when dealing with her that you are in controll, not the other way around : )

I Believe In You.

Thanks for the belief, not very many people do. As for my mom being in control, she is more than one would think. The way it is at home, is that I have nowhere to go if/when she decides she's going to kick me out again. It's her way or no way, and quite frankly, I'm not ready for the 'real world'. Just so you know, I'm not saying this to purposely contradict you, I'm just letting you know.

I understand, that is part of what makes your age so very hard.

If you are worried about being kicked out again, you might try showing her that you are ready to grow up and handle your own business.

Entering adulthood is not easy for the majority of people, however, just as getting old, it must happen.

Besides, it sure beats the alternative LOL.

You might try being honest with Mom about how you are feeling, just avoid statements like you....that, that, or the other.

Instead tell her that you yourself feel that.......

If she gets a whif of the blame game, the conversation is fairly doomed form the beginning.

Hang in there : )

NO FEAR!

I agree that the age time line is a difficult one.  I don't even want to go back there.  I also have the gray cloudy feeling.  I've been on meds for 26 yrs.  Tried different ones, some didn't work, others would work for a while.  I still stay tired all the time and have no motivation.  I recently lost a my husband, and things have gotten really bad.  I can't seen to quit the crying jags.  I do good for a couple of days, then I have a bad one.  I also feel if I'm really doing the things that I do everyday, or is it all a dream.  Some times on my way to work, I'll think "I can't believe I'm actually in a car and driving to my job."  I know this sounds strange, but the cloudy days seem to go along with this.  I'm really glad to know that I am not alone with this feeling.

Sorry for the loss of your husband. I think that we're all usually glad that we're not alone in something, when we think we are.

I don't have much faith in the conversation, but I will try to "hang in there". Thanks for the support. It especially means a lot to me, since you're a mom.

Maybe your feelings stem from the fact that you have hurt so many people in your past.....even your own children.............Try making amends to those whose lives you have negatively impacted. 

Thank you for your response.  For my sake, can you tell me how you arrived at this thought from such a small statement.  I am really interested.  If this is the case, I will really need to do some soul searching.  I am 70 now and would like to feel at peace with myself.