Who is to say whether or not I know myself from others? I have an inner rival as a teenager, and an external rival in the form of parents. One doesn't know what to do, and the other wants me to be and act as they want, and I have no choice, unless I get kicked out. There's hardly a chance they will listen, and understand, since they both have come from abusive families, and power, I've noticed, means way too much....
I came from a home where many of your dynamics were in play - as a teenager I knew I had to 'get out' but I also knew I wasn't able to get a job, pay rent and bills, take care of myself in any way. As tough as it is to put up with your parents, you know you can protect your inner self from the damage they try to do. Eventually you will be in a place where you can leave, and become employed and take care of yourself. Just keep telling yourself, you CAN do it, you WILL make it, and You ARE better than your current situation. You seem to know this already, or I don't believe you would have posted here. Good Luck and know you are not alone (sadly). People here care...
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You can't ever change other people...including your parents. All you can do is work on yourself the best way you can. If you could tell them anything you wanted to...what would you say?