DEPRESSED..WHO..ME????

By JENNIFER TURNER Tuesday, May 27, 2008

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HI EVERYONE, I HOPE YOU ALL ARE FINE...AS FOR ME...WHY IS IT THAT JUST WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN FEELING O.K. FOR A FEW DAYS, SOMETHING, EVEN, THE SMALLEST REMARK, CAN RUIN YOUR MOOD AND SEND YOU BACK INTO THE DEPRESSION PIT? IT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY. I MUST SAY I AM EXTREMLY SENSITIVE, HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE...ANYWAY, YESTERDAY, MOST OF MY FAMILY WERE COMING TO MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTERS TO COOK-OUT AND SWIM AND HAVE A GOOD TIME..WHILE TALKING TO ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS, SHE MADE A REMARK ABOUT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT,SOMETHING LIKE, I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW, MOM,SAVE IT FOR LATER...O.K. HER REMARK AND THE TONE OF HER VOICE JUST HIT ME THE WRONG WAY, SO, GUESS WHO STAYED INSIDE, AND, IN BED ALL DAY...IT SURE WAS,NT HER. I KNOW THIS MAY NOT SOUND LIKE A BIG DEAL TO ANYONE BUT ME...I WILL TRY AND EXPLAIN THAT I HAVE I.B.S.OR SPASTIC COLON..SEVERAL THINGS RELATING TO THE COLON...SO, I ALSO WAS HAVING SEVERE PAIN, MY HUSBAND TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WAS NOT FEELING WELL AND THEY ALL KNOW ABOUT MY HEALTH PROBLEMS...WHAT HAS ME SO TICKED-OFF IS THE FACT THAT NO ONE BOTHERED TO WALK ACROSS THE YARD TO CHECK ON ME OR EVEN JUST SAY HI, MOM..OR HI NANNY, SINCE THERE WERE 4 GRANDKIDS HERE.. I WAS IN MY BED AND I HEARD ALL THE LAUGHING, AND THE WATER SPLASHING IN THE POOL, AND I FELT SO LONELY AND UNLOVED. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS DUMB, BUT IT IS THE WAY I FEEL I AM TRYING TO (SNAP-OUT-OF-IT) BUT IT SURE IS HARD TO DO. AND SO IT GOES ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PERSON TRYING TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION, BAD HEALTH, NO MEDICAL INSURANCE TO HELP ME WITH MY HEALTH PROBLEMS, VISION THAT GETS WORSE DAILY..AND NOTHING THAT I CAN DO TO CHANGE THINGS. GOD BLESS ANYONE THAT TAKES THE TIME TO READ THIS....JENNIFER

SHARING A LETTER

Comments (10) | Add comment

Anonymous

5/27/08 4:26pm

I totally know what you mean. It sucks that it was like that and I know that it is hard for them to understand. I am sure it hurt more to hear them all laughing and playing when you couldn't be laughing and playing with them all. It will get better. I have hope today for the first time in a long time for myself. I am seeing a Psychiatrist on Thursday for the first time and I am so scared. I just can not go through life feeling this way anymore. This site has helped me a lot to realize that I am not just crazy and a lot of people are in the same position. It sucks, but we can be each others support when others don't understand. Hope it gets better!

Ang

JENNIFER TURNER

5/28/08 7:26am

HI, THANKS FOR YOUR WORDS OF SUPPORT. THIS SITE IS A GREAT PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO GET HELP OR SOMETIMES JUST TO LET THE PENT-UP EMOTIONS OUT. I WAS REALLY UPSET WHEN I WROTE THAT POST, AND, I KNOW I WILL GET OVER IT. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ABOUT YOUR APPT. AND TRY NOT TO BE SO SCARED. YOU HAVE MADE A MOVE TO SEEK HELP AND I HOPE HE/SHE WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ONE EITHER, NOT EVEN THERAPY OR A COUNCILER. ANYWAY, I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK. GOD BLESS YOU....JENNIFER

isolation

5/29/08 1:06am

i can totally understand why you would be upset. i dont know you but i know that there are people (like my father) who are constantly complaining or sick and it makes me feel like they are pretending and i lose compassion for them...make sure this is not the case. express to them that you are in pain and need medical attention....look around your area many counties give out free med. ins you just have to research....next time they are like that just grab an ice cream or whatever and dont mope, make the best out of it, with or without them...they will come around

JENNIFER TURNER

5/30/08 9:39am

HELLO, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. I KNOW IT,S HARD FOR PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE THAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE SICK ...MY MOM WAS LIKE THAT..AND NOW THAT I AM 64 YRS. OLD, I THINK BACK AND I WISH I HAD SHOWN MORE COMPASSION TO HER INSTEAD OF KIND OF LETTING IT GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER...ANYWAY, THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY. GOD BLESS YOU.....JENNIFER

Mindy

6/ 3/08 8:44pm

I wish that I could hug you.

JENNIFER TURNER

6/ 4/08 8:16am

HELLO MINDY, YOUR SIMPLE REPLY HAS ABSOLUTELY MADE MY DAY...THANK YOU VERY MUCH.....JENNIFER

nicki

6/ 9/08 4:16am

Jennifer, I know exactly how you felt. I am a female 44yrs old, divorced after 22 yrs marriage, three grown girls and two grandkids who I never see, because my grandson who is 3, father will not let him visit or even talk to me on the phone, and the only reason he gives is he thinks Im addicted to my meds. My other granddaughter is 4 mths old and my daughter wants me to be in her life however they live about 2000 miles away in another state. I do keep constant contact with her and she sends me pictures of the baby via cell phone or email. I was diagnosed as manic depressive about 10 years ago, and as I grow older I find myself with more mental problems. I was depressed as a child due to my step father abuseing me sexually and mentally and of course physically. I had no friends and still to this day I am anti-social. I am lucky in the sense that I have one friend who is true no matter what she sticks by me. I stay locked in my bedroom in bed at least 90% of the time, I cry, and I often think about dieing. The only reason I stay around and wait for God to say when is my girls and grandkids. I know what your talking about when you say the least little thing can set you off. Two of my girls are very plain spoken and have hurt my feelings so bad that I have cried for days, but you get over it and go on with life the best you can. I wish I had the answer for you about your husband yelling,.luckily I dont have that problem anymore, but I do pray that God will give you the answers, and no matter what always remember tomorrows going to be a better day!!

JENNIFER TURNER

6/10/08 9:11am

HELLO, I JUST NOW CAME ACROSS YOUR REPLY. SINCE THEY CHANGED THE WEBSITE I CANT GET TO SOME OF THE PLACES THAT I COULD BEFORE. I HAVE WEBTV NOT A COMPUTER..AND I HAVE,NT RECEIVED ANY E-MAILS FROM THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW....I HOPE EVERYONE IS FINE...I STAY IN MY BEDROOM ALMOST ALL THE TIME WHEN I AM DEPRESSED..I HAVE 3 GROWN DAUGHTERS, 8 GRANDKIDS,,,1 GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER WHO I HAVE NEVER SEEN AND PROBALY WONT EVER SEE. MY 21 OLD GRANDSON IS THE DADDY..AND HE NEEDS SOME KIND OF HELP...HE GETS DRUNK AND THEN WANTS TO FIGHT...WHEN HE IS SOBER HE IS A SWEET GUY..HIS MOM IS MY MIDDLE DAUGHTER AND SHE IS HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME..JUST WENT THROUGH A NASTY DIVORCE...AND..SHE CANT FIND A JOB SO WE ARE PAYING SOME OF HER BILLS...MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OWNS THE LAND WHERE WE ALL LIVE..AND SHE ALSO IS HELPING HER SISTER...I LOVE LIVING SO CLOSE TO MY DAUGHTERS..I AM IN HER BACKYARD SORT OF AND THE OTHER DAUGHTER IS DOWN OUR DRIVEWAY. WE LIVE IN MOBILE HOMES. THERE IS SO MUCH BAD THINGS GOING ON NOW THAT I HAVE FALLEN IN THE DEPRESSION PIT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET MYSELF OUT....I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU SOON.. GOD BLESS YOU....JENNIFER

Anonymous

6/13/08 11:04pm

Jennifer - I have PTSD. I am also well educated and a Viet Nam veteran. I suffer from depression and have tried all the new medicines. The side effects were bad on them and the Doctor decided to try something "tried and true". He put me on Triavil and it works. The only side effect I seem to notice is a little dry mouth. A small price to pay for not being depressed. There is clinical and psychological depression. If you have a chemical inbalance you should fix that first. If you have psychological depression, you will have to work on that by realizing that people will make stupid remarks and you have to just blow that off. Once you learn to stand up for yourself, you will feel better. Good luck, Ron.

JENNIFER TURNER

6/19/08 9:36am

HI RON, I JUST READ YOUR REPLY, I WAS ALMOST THROUGH WHEN I LOOKED AT MY SCREEN AND IT WAS BLANK...SO MY LONG REPLY TO YOU HAS VANISHED..I WILL MAKE THIS SHORT SO IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.....GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL THE VETS THAT SERVED IN VIETNAM....THANK YOU....I HAVE NOT HEARD OF THE MED. YOU ARE TAKING, BUT, I PRAY THAT IT WORKS....I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU....NOW I HAVE TO GO BEFORE MY WEBTV GOES NUTS AGAIN.....GOD BLESS YOU......JENNIFER

DEPRESSED..WHO..ME????

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