HAVING A HARD TIME

HI EVERYONE, I HOPE YOU ALL ARE DOING BETTER. AS FOR ME, I HAVE BEEN DEEPLY DEPRESSED FOR WEEKS. I AM TAKING MY MEDS. BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH I WANT TO LEAVE THIS WORLD AND GO TO HEAVEN..NO..I WONT TAKE MY LIFE...I JUST WANT GOD TO END THIS TIME I AM HERE....I TRY TO TELL MY HUSBAND BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE DEPRESSED. I HAVE BEEN STAYING IN MY ROOM, NOT WANTING TO SEE OR HEAR FROM ANYONE...MAYBE IT,S BECAUSE OF ALL MY MEDICAL ISSUES..LIKE I.B.S. EVERYTIME I EAT MY COLON GOES INTO SPASMS AND ITS VERY PAINFUL AT TIMES...MY DR. ASKED ME TO WRITE A JOURNAL EVERYDAY SO THAT HE CAN SEE HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE CRAMPS OR SEVERE PAIN. IT,S TURNING OUT THAT I HAVE ABDOMINAL CRAMPS OR PAIN EVERYDAY. I TAKE LIBRAX FOR IT AND IT HELPS..BUT,I STAY INSIDE ALL THE TIME NOW...MOSTLY IN MY BEDROOM....I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...I NEED HELP THATS FOR SURE..I ALSO HAVE ARTHRITIS THAT HAS ONLY GOT WORSE OVER THE MANY YEARS I WAS DIAG. MY VISION IS SO BAD FROM CATARACTS ITS HARD FOR ME TO SEE MY KEYBOARD NOW...I HAVE NO MEDICAL INSURANCE, I HAVE TO WAIT UNTILL I AM 65 NEXT MARCH...I KNOW ITS BORING TO READ ABOUT SOMEONES ACHES AND PAIN, BUT, RIGHT NOW THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO...I,M JUST ASKING FOR WHO EVER READS THIS TO PLEASE PRAY FOR ME...I AM REALLY BAD THIS TIME...GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU....JENNIFER