Hi Alex

Welcome to our depression site.

You probably already know this but wanted to tell you that we also have a bipolar site on Health Central.

Are you currently pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant?

Parenting is a very difficult job but when you add a mood disorder to the mix...it can be especially difficult.  I can only speak from my experience but despite my genetics...my mother has schizophrenia and I suffer from depression and anxiety...I never doubted that I wanted children.  I knew it would be a challenge for me but I was ready to give and love in that unconditional way.  I had been in therapy for years and I felt ready for the challenge by my late twenties. 

They say that a baby will change your life forever.  This is more true than you will ever know.  Once you are a parent you are always a parent. 

I have a dear friend who has been diagnosed with Bipolar II and she had two children over the age of forty.  She already had children so she understood the challenges of parenting but when you are over forty...there are more risks for both the mother and the child and also it takes a heck of a toll on your body.  As much as we see celebrities having babies over forty...it may be much more difficult for people who do not have the money to spend on fertility treatments.  My friend ended up having two very healthy babies...and she is in her element of nurturing and raising children.  But it isn't easy and when you get older, too, you may have to consider taking care of elderly parents and young children. 

What I am trying to say is that this is not a decision to take lightly.  You really have to be ready emotionally, physically, and financially.

Let us know more about what you have been thinking and maybe some of our other members can chime in with their experience.

Thanks so much for writing. 

alxv

2/16/12 5:52pm

Hi, thank you for answering so quickly.

 

I've been a member to this site for some time now, maybe 2 years or so but I don't have the time to read all the posts or get all the info I want.

But when it comes to this issue, bipolar mothers, I need to understand what they feel and how they handle the pressure emotionaly. I know that raising kids is very hard work, but for us who have less energy so many times or drained emocionaly and having to deal with this disorder, I need to know if the medication can makes us feel less affection or love for our kids? Since it controls our emotions?

 

Alex

Judy

2/16/12 9:10pm

Hi, there.  I'm not bipolar, but I'd say that, generally speaking, medication doesn't control your emotions - its purpose is to allow you to experience normal emotions and not get overwhelmed by any of them, such as depression or anger.  I think there are some meds that can have a numbing effect, but if that happens, you can talk about that with the doctor.  I really don't think medication would cause you to not love your children.  No matter how badly we might feel, we still love our kids even if we have a hard time showing it.  I think that there might be a greater risk of harm to our children if we are having depression or mania and it's left untreated.  The meds might even allow you to have more energy.  Just my opinion.  Maybe someone else here has more experience.

Merely Me, Health Guide

2/17/12 5:04pm

Hi again

 

I realized when you wrote back that I really hadn't answered your question.  :>)

 

I guess the answer is...I don't know.

 

Everyone responds differently to medications.  For my friend...the medication is a lifesaver.  She is as loving a mother that I have ever seen.  I think that so much depends on the person.  Untreated bipolar disorder may have a greater impact on parenting than the medication to treat it. 

 

There are no right or wrong answers here.  Everyone who has a mental or medical illness will be affected by their medication.  But how?  That is as unique as the individual. 

 

Maybe some other members can share their experiences. 

 

Thanks for asking this question...it is a good one.