Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Conventional wisdom is that there are more suicides during the holidays than at other times.
I'd like to explore two questions. First, is this true? Second, as I am sure that the average person is not studying Medline for articles on suicide, why do most people think it true?
&nbs...
Wasn't there research that showed December and April/May as peak periods of suicide? Has that been re-evaluated? It seems like holiday depression would take in the whole month of December, not just the holiday itself. For me anyway, December is a depressive cycle, year after year.
Hello, I'm writing from Ireland. I can speak for the UK as well. The Samaritans and Suicide helplines have more calls here over Christmas period and Bank holidays and New years Eve and other holidays more than any other time.
Also Nov to Januray [dark, dreary months here] are a time when nonBipolar people become very suicidal.
For me, I can say that Holidays and all the 'merriment' just serve to show me that I have no family [this isnt selfpity, just reality]. For many people suffering Depression/Anxiety its the same. Its the huge Stress of trying to 'act' happy and again its the polarity between the happiness even if its all media based that serves to throw light on our own darkness, loneliness and sense of isolation.
Everyone seems in love at Xmas, everywhere, there are couples, they all SEEM so happy. There are dreadful stesses on Men [as you know] financially during Xmas too. Here, We had a dreadful Summer last year and it was dark and rainy every single day. The admissions for Depression in Psychiatric units was up remarkably. So once again, I guess its that feeling of 'being different' of 'not fitting in to the happy time 'happy family' scenario that gives rise to the feeling of utter desolation and feeling of worthlessness and suicidal ideation... I speak from experience here.
I think I see less "happy family" and more complaining about how much there is to do and the cost and the hassle - but that also includes the une-upsmanship of doing more or being a better Christmas mom than me. My mom was always the one to try to make Christmas "happy" and sing carols on Christmas eve, and all that. Last year, however, she went to visit my sister in gloomy Oregon and they had a non-Christmas together. My sister makes T-shirts and sells them at holiday fairs so she is exhausted by the time that's over.
It's hard to feel isolated by having no family, but at times I wish I could get away from feeling isolated in the large family I have.
I guess we will all need as much support as we can get in the weeks ahead.
Yes, As I said, those without supportive families, either through alcohol, abuse, dysfunciton who have had to disconnect, or whose families have shunned them because of Mental Disorders [an embarrasment !] find it hard to endure the season of Merriment. The amount of Homeless people on the Streets in Dublin yesterday begging was appalling.
I am taken out once a year near to Xmas time and gifts exchanged, we all play 'happy family' and for the rest of the year, I dont received a phone-call. For me this always brings on a Depressin at the start/Mid of OCtober, and always Nov/Dec. I am not assertive enough to say 'No'. Its a Conscience thing I guess.
This is why suicides and Depression is worse at holiday time .
I notice that holidays are not quite as difficult now as they were years ago, mostly because I've worked on my responses and perceptions and found meds that have worked better for me. It is also true that we have more hours of darkness this time of year, which is a factor for some of us. Being aware of how many people are in unfortunate circumstances is saddening, but you can't cure the system that causes it, or fix the many problems people have. You need to protect yourself first.
If you feel you need to say "no" but haven't succeeded, maybe you can tell yourself that some year you will be able to do it. You don't need to beat yourself up.
While the suffering can be intense at times, the holidays will soon be over -- that's what I try to picture when I can.
I hope this is the year that things will be a tiny bit easier for you.
Thanks ! Yes, youre right. one cant take ALL the sadness and problems of the world on. I help while I can and I vote when I get the chance ! You're right about the darkness [alot of grey skies here this time of year]. I just thought to myself how quickly a month [say 4 weeks] can go by. Then I thought, hey this weekend is half of november gone, the 14th. Only 30 Days in November and then
another 4 to 4 weeks and the whole Xnas and New YEar celebrations will be over and it will be over. This sounds like wishing my life away but It's just in my particular case, it's my worst time of year and yet, the 2nd week of February little shoots and Snowdrops and other flowers start to peep up from Winters Carpet. The Evenings start to get brighter...The thing is, each year, we get through the holidays. We may feel miserable, they may bring up feelings but we get through. Thats survival. I agree about Taking care of ourselves first
Maybe we can just think of the holiday as being about solstice, and a sign that the sun will be coming back after all. If you're in Ireland, you've got all the old pagan stone structures to remind you why so many other holidays have been piggybacked onto late December. As humans, we must have some sort of built-in fear that the sun will go away and never come back. Then, hurray, it does.
Just upped my dosage of antidepressant yesterday, so being optimistic is much easier for me today.
Yes, we probably do harbour some primal fear that Sun has gone and wont come back. Especially in Northern countries and being a Celt !!
Im glad youre feeling better. Im on Lexapro. I do hope you have a happy few months ahead, lots of candles and lights x