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Misconceptions about Depression

By marja Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I am the author of a new book called A Firm Place to Stand: Finding Meaning in a Life with Bipolar Disorder. As everyone knows there is a lot of stigma attached to mental illness, and this hold true for the church as well. Many Christians try to spiritualize these disorders, not recognizing them as medical problems. In an effort to educate and to eradicate this stigma I wrote this book especially for Christians. It shows that a person can have a close relationship with God and yet have a mental illness.

 

It is important to me to educate the Christian community because they are in such a good position to offer help. They only need to know how. They need to understand. My story tries to help them understand.

 

I would like to share an excerpt from A Firm Place to Stand.

 

 

                                        book cover 

 

MISCONCEPTION


I'm disappointed when friends and family who know me well say things that reveal a gross misunderstanding of depression and how it affects those of us who suffer from it. One person close to me thought depression was something we bring on when we feel sorry for ourselves. Perhaps she thought we liked the attention.

 

Sufferers of depression would do anything to feel happy and vibrant again. When I'm depressed, many friends keep me at arm's length. I don't blame them. It's not pleasant to be around me when I can't find anything to talk about except my pain. Depression does that to you: It turns your thinking inward; all you can wrap your mind around is the misery you feel. You end up feeling very alone.


Another person complained to me about an acquaintance with depression who couldn't manage to do anything more than lie on the sofa. "Couldn't he just try and make himself do something?" she asked. Nothing I said could convince her that this was an illness that, like other illnesses, couldn't be helped by simple willpower. Those who have never experienced depression find it difficult to understand how profoundly a brain disorder can affect the entire body.


A long time ago, when I was bordering on psychosis, my doctor put me in a seniors' care facility for a few days to give me relief from the stress I faced at home. I called a close family member to let her know where I was. She advised me, "You've got to pull yourself together and be strong. You have to try harder." That was insensitive. I was at the facility because I was doing my best to recover - I wasn't living with eighty and ninety-year-olds for fun. She should have known I always try my best. When I'm trapped in this state, extricating myself is extremely hard. I need time and medication to recover. If I sound angry and hurt, yes, I was.


A person I worked with recommended strongly that I get counseling. "You don't need those pills you're taking. All you need is to talk to someone at my church." She knew nothing about mental disorders like mine. She had no idea what I was dealing with. Again, I seethed, remembering how psychotic I was when I was first admitted to hospital. I could become sick like that again if I didn't take the medication my mental stability depended on. Would this person tell a diabetic to stop taking insulin?

Merely Me, Health Guide
9/ 9/08 7:42am

Oh Marja...so glad you are here!  Your message is so important and I am so happy you are getting it out there.  I have a couple of posts in line discussing stigma so your message is well timed.  Please do stay and write and share more with us.  And I also wanted to tell you that Health Central also has a bi-polar site as well.  Please keep writing...we are listening!

Vicki M, Editor
9/11/08 11:50am

Marja,

 

Thank you so much for posting this!! I am a deep believer in God, but I also know that mental illness is not God's way of punishing people, nor is God the complete answer when someone is suffering with mental illness. There are several people who just recently posted their disappointment with the lack of knowledge and compassion when seeking help from their church ministers. Your posting and the excerpts from your book will go far in helping people manage those who just don't know better what to say when someone is in a depressive state. Thank you again for sharing. I will certainly recommend your shareposts as required reading!

Vicki M

2/21/11 12:21pm

Hello, this gives so many that feel hopeless hope, thanks for being a  pioneer and getting your info out there, I went through a debilitating depression when I was 26 on top of loosing everything i held dear.  I didn't know anything about depression, so i didn't know how to reach out becaue I though i just didn't have enough faith. I though God was punishing me for my past sins and I was extrememly Isolated from family, on top of all that I was taking care of my son by myself and just had my youngest son. He was about 5 months old when I checked myself in to a hospital, nothing has been the same since. still putting the pieces back together. this all took place in 2009.Embarassed

2/21/11 12:46pm

Thank you sug19, for your comment. I was surprised this morning to receive it, since I've done nothing on this site for a very long time. Sounds like you've had a tough road, and I wish you all the best. It can only get better, eh?

 

You know now that it wasn't a lack of faith that was to blame, don't you? It's only another illness, after all, that happens to affect your brain and your thinking. Please keep believing that God will help you through this and don't stop trusting Him. And there's something good that can come out of the trials in your life. They can transform you and make you stronger in the end.

2/21/11 5:03pm

Nowhere, in the Bible, does it say Christians will be free from depression. In fact, there are, numerous, references to "trials" and "tribulations". God sends rain and, apparently, depression on the just and unjust. The advantages a Christian, with depression, has are endurance and hope. Reading "Job" may put things in perspective.

 

"Christians" who think depression has anything to do with a lack of faith or punishment, from God, "err, not knowing the scriptures".

2/21/11 5:57pm

CIG - That's the problem with a lot of Christian people. They forget the stories of Job and Jeremiah. They think that when you know Christ you're automatically going to be happy all the time - that you're always going to be emotionally well. The greatest damage is done by people like this when they tell their depressed friends that the problem is in their relationship with God. How terrible to be told that when you're doing your best to stay close to Him through a very rough time! They're essentially putting the blame on you. Christians need to love and accept, the way Christ showed us to. To be compassionate and try to understand. In my view, the stigma amongst a lot of Christians is more damaging than in any other portion of society. This is a viewpoint I'm passionate about and it is what drives me in my work. I'm an evangelical Christian myself and I would so much like to change the way mental illness is looked at by my fellow Christians!

Please do visit my blog with deals with such issues and others: http://marjabergen.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
Anonymous
7/ 7/11 1:36pm

my wife has depression and is on medication for it. i try my best to understand but I know i can't fix her or fully understand because i have never been depressed myself. but what i struggle with is when she withdraws and holds me at arms length. instinctively i want to hold her and give nourishment to our intimate emotional connection. but i see her being happy with friends and others whilst with me she seems to direct her hostility. i love her dearly and it feels like she wants to end our relationship because she is so cold to me. it breaks my heart and i wish i could do something to reach her. i wish she could give just one gesture of affection to reassure me that, under all the darkness, she still loves me dearly. i feel so lost :((

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By marja— Last Modified: 07/07/11, First Published: 09/09/08