wantadoover

I have been struggling with depression/anxiety for over 25 years.  It has never gotten easier despite valiant efforts.  My depression displays itself very physically.  I am constantly nauseous and lose weight, backaches, shaky legs, crying jags, irritability.  I can go to bed one night feeling perfectly fine, and wake up the next morning with that nauseous, nervous feeling.  The episodes, when I was younger,  would last 4-5 weeks, and then I would have a respite of 3-4 months when it would start all over again.  Now they are coming closer together, and my good times are only about six weeks.  I am presently taking Pamelor and Xanax, but it's really doing nothing.  I have tried many other drugs also to no avail.  I see a therapist once/week, walk five times per week, do yoga once/week, and also work full time.  This disease seems to have a life of its own.  I don't know when or why it starts, and I also don't know why or when it will stop.  I have a loving and supportive husband, with three grown children who are amazing people.  I have little to no stress in my life, and yet, here I am.  I have had every test done to rule out a physical cause, but they are all negative.  Has anyone else experienced depression like this?  Any ideas or suggestions?