Friday, July 10, 2009
i need help trying to find out whats wrong with me so please dont recomend a clinic or seeing a doctor im only 15 and i tried talking to my pearnts about it but they wont listen ii feel depressed and i angry and have random moments of anger and i randomly feel sad and i randomly cry and i dont know why i do i hate feeling this way and i felt this way for a wile but no one seems to care i feel like ive dissapointed everyone even though i didnt do enything ive felt like commiting suicie but i couldnt do it and then after that i felt more worthless i tried to sleep all day but i cant sleep at all! i feel lonely. please help me i need to know whats wrong with me. please remember im only 15!
Hi Jessica,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so terrible. What is wrong with you? You hit the nail on the head: you are depressed. Because of that most people will recommend you see a doctor but if that feels like too much at the moment how about you continue writing here for now? Tell us a bit about your problems - you've done wonderfully at explaining how you feel but do you know the reasons behind those awful feelings? I mean I understand the feelings are out of context with the experiences - you feel confused because it's all overwhelming and you cry at the wrong times and get angry over nothing - but it'll all have come from somewhere. What is your past? Have you been bullied, perhaps? How is your relationship with your parents (other than that they don't seem to want to listen)?
I'm 23 but I have been depressed at least since I was ten. Nobody suggested I might be until I was sixteen and I refused to get help until I was seventeen, almost eighteen. My parents took forever to listen properly and acknowledge that there was something wrong simply because I was the kid who was always independent, apparently happy, and achieved so much.... perhaps this is familiar to you? It's not that your parents don't want to listen, as such, it's just that they don't want to think of their daughter being so miserable - it probably hurts them! That is why you need someone else to talk to - and if you talk to a professional generally that helps to hit home with the folks that there is something seriously wrong and that they're going to have to realise that even though they don't want it to be the case (hell, it's not like you WANT something to be wrong with you, either, now is it?).
So I know you said you don't want to see a doc but I think you should consider it. In the meantime please tell me more. I want to listen. It's the only way I can help you over such long distances (I'm an Aussie). Please keep writing and know that you are not alone.
the only thing i can think of is my mother she is never home and she has a boyfriend wile shes married to my dad and my dad knows but doesnt care but i dont think that matters about my mom i dont care. i have no one else to talk to and i wish i could talk to a consouler or something but i dont know how to set up an appointment and i dont want my pearnts to know im seeing one so how do i do it without them knowing and and i dont have eny money so i dont know i feel stuck but i think if i dont get help ssooon im going to feel like this for ever and i really do hate this feeling i dont know why i feel this way. thanyou so much for relpying to me u dont know how much it means to have someone to talk to about this whos practaclly been through the same thing
Are you still at school? If so you probably have a councillor there who will give you his/her time for free and your parents don't have to know. In fact because of doctor-patient confidentiality whoever you see it can be kept private from your parents, though it would probably be easier if they did know because they could help you find someone and pay if that is necessary... still in the meantime a school councillor is a good stepping stone - he or she could even help you find other help. And also look for the mental health team in your area - there is always at least one and they are always free. Here in Australia there are two but I don't know about where you live unfortunately... if you live in America Merley Me often has great info so maybe try sending her a private message? I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help!
As for the problems with your Mum may I suggest that it being the first thing that came to your mind as a possible problem in your life suggests that it does actually bother you. Perhaps you don't want to admit it - sometimes it is easier to say that you don't care about something then have to deal with the emotions when you do care, however suppressing those emotions often lead us to feeling so depressed... does that make any sense?
I certainly don't want to tell you what to do and most definitely don't want to presume how you feel but it's what I gathered from your post. I hope you manage to find someone to talk to because it really sounds like you need to talk to someone and please keep writing. We're listening.