Seriously, do I have to donate a library to get this way over priced private institution to take my problems seriously?
so I have been diagnosed with chronic-minor depression, and I have been able to manage it for almost 2 and a half years now. However, this Monday, I just woke up with this intense urge to hide and let everything else go... so I did. I haven't gone to class nor check my email for three days now.. and I have been having crying spells for the whole day. I know this is serious for me because even in my most depressed state, I didn't cry. So I called health service hoping to schedule an appointment to get someone to talk to. Now I have been trying to get an appointment for 2 months now, and every time they schedule me, its always a date two weeks from now. After I finally get someone to talk to at health service a week ago, she only told me to go back to the private therapist that I have been to before.. her claims was that the school just couldn't fit me in their tight schedule.
so I did, I was suppose to see her yesterday, but she got swined, so she's taking the entire week off this week and next due to thanksgiving.
so today when I call my school again hoping to get someone ASAP, because I can't get out of bed and basically can't stop crying, the lady replied me in such a mocking tone. She said:" well if you are missing classes, you should just go talk to the dean. I don't have any more to get you in til tuesday."
I mean if I thought I could last til tuesday without hurting myself I wouldn't have called. What the school has been telling me is basically that I am not crazy enough to be seen immediately. I mean, do I have to hurt myself before I get someone? I get it that other people have more serious problems than I do, but can you at least pretend that I am important? and that I DO need help,,, can you just pretend?
I don't get it, students here pay upwards of 50K to be here per year,, and you can't just pretend like you care? I am sorry that I can't get out of bed and can't function, and can't donate a library to your school. Worst of all, I am sorry that I called and wasted your precious freaken minute. According to you, health service lady, I am not even worth a place at this school.
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear you're being treated this way. I hope you at least felt a little better venting what you would have liked to have said. I bet you wish you could actually say it, huh?
Is there anywhere else you can go for help? Have you tried phoning a hotline? They are always there to listen - no one will just snub you off. Can you afford therapy outside of the school because it might be worth it - your school clearly isn't responding to you...
If you want to do something about their lack of help though try writing to the Dean, or someone higher up the chain. Chronicle your attempts at getting help, if you've got hard facts to prove the way you've been treated it'll help, and that should get you some notice.
I really hope you get some help soon. And please don't resort to self-harming to get their attention. It won't work. I hate hearing how a system has failed someone but unfortunately it is all too common in life. Don't give up. Try new avenues. Vent here. You are important and do deserve to be listened to and helped and I think you should give yourself some credit for trying as hard as you have - it's not easy to do when you just want to lie about and do nothing cause the depression is that bad. Don't give up.