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Question: Momof2 wrote... I have been with my husband for 14 years - married for 8. We have 2 amazing children (3 & 6). We have the perfect life. Six weeks ago I found him in a major depression, crying all the time. He was diagnosed with severe depression. Over the past 6 weeks I have...
My husband had to deal with the same thing with me! I would write the most hateful and angry things to my Beloved. I would say I never loved him and we were literally newlyweds by 6 months! He knew it was not the 'real me'speak-ing but a very hurt, disturbed little girl inside. My Beloved continued to love me while raising his 6 year old daughter! Eventually the real me, with medica-tion and counsel-ing helped in time. I knew I put my Beloved through HELL, but to this day I KNOW he is cheering me on even then. What came through was his genuine love for me. Sticking by me ...for better, for worst and in sickness and in health...I still recall with what love he loved me, when I was at my worst and unlove-able.
Also, at the same time, I valued a friend [seragate motherof sorts] of mine for years. She was very supportive
prior. I asked her to go into my counseling session to support me along with my husband. All I could do was hate her with all the anger within me. [What I was really saying, was how much I hated with anger my own mother, but projected all of this onto my friend.] I already saw my husbands love for me in action. She could not love me, nor accept me in my state of mind and our friend- ship ended! She and I were deeply hurt by my words.
I remenber with what kind love I was given and it has lasted. That was 25 years ago!
In that time, I would hate to count how many times my [BiPolar]
deep depression was loved and accepted. As my Beloved just said to me as I read him your letter, 'I knew the real you despite what
words you might have said!'
After 14 long years of loving your Beloved, what did you fall in love with! Cling that man, not the hurt and angry one. I was told many years ago, that we only hurt the ones we feel confortable with and love! My husband and I greet each other with a kiss and the reason why we love each other that day. A characteristic, a quality or a silly answer. My husband started that when I was so unloveable!
Hang in there and know we are cheering you on!
bfortin