I have been with my husband for 14 years - married for 8. We have 2 amazing children (3 & 6). We have the perfect life. Six weeks ago I found him in a major depression, crying all the time. He was diagnosed with severe depression. Over the past 6 weeks I have seen him fluctuate with a couple of good days/moments. I encouraged him to keep a journal when he was diagnosed. I thought that if he shared it with me that I would get a better understanding of where he was coming from. BIG MISTAKE. All I have read is how angry and resentful he is to me. Everything I read is like a punch in my stomach. I asked to stop reading his journal and he got quite upset saying that if I loved him then I should want to read it. I don't know what to do. I am so scared - he's holding everything in his hands. Any guidance would be so appreciated.
When our spouse has a problem with depression, we pretty much have a problem with it too. It's impossible not to be affected by it.
It's very unlikely that your husband means what he's writing in his journal. Depression twists our emotions totally beyond recognition. You're trying to help him, but who's helping you? Is he going for therapy or counseling? Do you go with him? If he doesn't go, or if you don't go with him, some sessions together or some sessions just for you are well worth considering. Joint sessions would allow you to discuss what he's written in his journal in a controlled setting. Private sessions would give you a chance to discuss how to handle the various issues his depression is presenting for your family.
Were any medications prescribed for your husband? Keep in mind also that they can take a bit of time to take effect. If his doctor didn't give him an idea of how long it should be before he sees results, it's worth a phone call to find you.
hoping this helps,
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© Teri Robert, 2007.