"Beyond Help"

I saw my counselor on Thursday and we talked about the fact that I had been feeling suicidal this passed week. She told me I had been doing a good job using the suicide hotline but that I needed help beyond what they could offer. When I told her that I thought the suicidality increased when I was put on a stimulant for my ADHD she started typing numbers and she said,"OK, let's try this. If this doesn't work then you are beyond help." She created a schedule which I am expected to stick to. I left that session not feeling only angry but even more hopeless and helpless than I did going into it. I called her on Friday and told her I didn't appreciate what she said to me and she said that she didn't say that to me and she was sorry if I got that from what she said. I am so angry right now I could scream!

~Alice