I don't know how many of you remember me or my story. But all you really need to know is that a while back things were better, I was feeling great. Well, as of recently things have gotten worse. My suicidal ideations are more intense than ever. So intense that I tried to kill myself in my counselor's waiting room. Luckily, she was there to stop me. It is not only the intensity that has increased but the frequency. I have those thoughts every single day! But I can't tell anyone (except my counselor). If I tell my parents they'll think I am being a selfish and a coward and I don't have any friends, at least that I can trust. I guess that is where you guys come in.
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Things are bad.
12/15/08 9:09pm
I am brand new to this site as of yesterday. I joined looking for other individuals looking for support while they go through their mental health challenges. I particularly was hoping to find other D.I.D.'s (MPD's) so far I havent found any other individuals with Multple Personality Disorder. I relate to your being suicidal. I am currently in that place. I went to therapy today. I am a victim of abuse from Priest Abuse and family abuse including incest, which is why I am currently suicidal. so I can relate.
Please Alice, you are important, valuable and precious especially in Gods eyes. and as your last supporter said you are loved. Mary. The world is made of beautiful people, you! you are beautiful.
1/21/09 12:35pm
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WELL HELLO ALICE, IT,S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE YOU UPDATED, BUT, I WONT EVER FORGET YOU. YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU AND WAS WONDERING HOW YOU WERE. I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE BACK IN THAT SUICIDAL STATE OF MIND. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE EXPERTS AT THIS SITE WILL READ YOUR POST AND WILL HELP YOU. ALSO, ALICE, I,M PROBABLY NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT REMEMBERS YOU. EVEN IF WE DONT UPDATE AS OFTEN AS WE WOULD LIKE TOO, YOUR OTHER SHAREPOSTS ARE STILL HERE...AND PEOPLE READ THEM AND RESPOND WITH WHAT THEY HOPE WILL HELP YOU GET THROUGH THIS BAD TIME. I MYSELF, HAVE BEEN DEEPLY DEPRESSED, AND I WROTE THAT I JUST WANTED GOD TO CALL MY NAME AND LET ME GO TO HEAVEN, I KNOW I WONT HAVE ALL THE PAIN AND DEPRESSION TO DEAL WITH. I WAS VERY CLOSE TO MY MOTHER, SHE PASSED AWAY 21 YEARS AGO, AND I MISS HER NOW MORE THAN EVER...WHEN I WANTED TO DIE..NOT BY MY OWN HAND..BUT BY GOD LETTING ME DIE, I WROTE THAT HERE AT THIS SITE AND I GOT SOME VERY SPECIAL REPLYS...MERELY ME IS ONE OF THE EXPERTS HERE AND SHE IS ABSOLUTLY ONE OF THE BEST TO REPLY AND LIFT YOU UP..I HOPE SHE READS THIS SOON AND CAN GIVE YOU BETTER ADVICE THAN I CAN...HANG IN THERE ALICE...YOU ARE NOT ALONE....GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE IN HIS LOVING HANDS.......JENNIFER...PS...YOU HAVE MY HOME EMAIL ADDRESS...LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE.......