I feel so alone...

By swimnjeans Friday, January 30, 2009

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Im new here, so this is my first post. I have no friends, been like thaty for many years. I was married, but my wife left me when I was financally unstable. Right now I have so much pain. Im on 2 antidepressiants, they dont really help. At work, I have so called friends there, but no one to really talk to. My biggest problem is I have been trying to get a girlfriend for 3 yrs. It depresses me real bad when I go out and see others togeather, having fun and stuff. I have tried several dating sites, girls would send me mail, but as soon as I put my picture up, everyone dissapears. They delete my sent messages. There was this guy at work who said I was just too ugly. On top of all that, I have this damn fetish for wearing tight jeans and swimming in them. Ive always wanted to find a girl with the same intrest, but there's just no one out there. I justy feel like a total loser, and am just about at the end of my rope. The only thing thats keeping me alive is my 8yr old little girl. But Im having stronger feelings and thoughts of just dying. I wake up in the morning, and just dont want to live. One of these days, Im afraid my feelings are gonna take over, and Im not going to care, and just kill myself. I dont want that, but I do. Ive seen psycritest (however ya spell that), and all they do is sit me in a corner for the short time my insurance will pay for, and ask me what do I need. I just dont know. I know this probally sounds pointless, but I dont know. What can I do to get a true friend? Im too damn shy to go anywhere. I asked a girl out once, and she told me to get lost, while her friend beside her was gesturing sticking her finger down her throat. Im just lost.

Comments (7) | Add comment

MiMi_08

1/30/09 9:38am

Why are you looking for someone? I know you got out of a marriage and that is kinda like suffering from a death or loss in the family. Do you love yourself? Take it one day at a time. Your going to be fine. What do you like to do? Now would be the perfect time to be you and do you. If people act that way, well that on them. You don't worry about it. Send me a pic

Karenfgreen_07@yahoo.com

swimnjeans

1/30/09 12:54pm

Hi, actually, I hate myself. The only reason I was married was my mom owned 3 bridal shops, and I had my own business. When the work slowed, and money was tight, thats when she left me. She only wanted me for the money. What do I like to do? Well, nothing really, cos I have no one to do things with. I love being in and around water....lakes, pools. I will send you a pic later tonite when I get home from work.

SymptomVeteran

1/30/09 4:03pm

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, bought the T-shirt, couldn't take it back, still there - usually FEELING LONELY!

BUT don't give up; THERE IS HOPE, I myself have found some!!

And l, have never been fortunate enough to have ever gotten married, yet I find myself still hoping to meet my soul mate!

I am an information hound and look for help in anything I can find; Reading self-help books, joining SUPPORT GROUPS, one I attended -and expected to be a hopeless pursuit, because it was not one of my issues, wound-up helping me immensely!

Later through channeling in the self-help support groups I was invited

(by two married women that I had some small conversation with) to their Church!

I went because they were hip and attractive, NOT for the spirituality :-)*,

BUT I found some truly warm friendly, receptive and engaging people there. I discovered that there is a greater chance for respect of Personhood in a spiritually oriented environment.

I would encourage you to check into a local non-threatening church (or temple of worship); NOT as a doctor BUT, as one who LIVES in the world of ‘nobody knows me, nobody cares, my life really SUCKS and I hate this LONELINESS'!

One of the important METHODS of getting the best out of a situation or opportunity is to ‘BELIEVE it will have some positive REDEEMING RESULTS', even if you are prone to DOUBT this to be the case.

Additionally, I have discovered that the brain records memories emotionally (not logically), therefore my incident(s) with new "records" of experience, are in a way predisposed to become negative as well.

I still have occasional tormenting times of loneliness, but knowing that if I keep pushing myself forward, the pain of the current feelings of despair do eventually subside.

I hope this feeds your heart and soul well.

Empathetically yours, SymptomVeteran

psychoward1

1/30/09 10:50am

Well lets see you were married, so ya cant be that ugly. It is a positive step to reach out to people and seek answers to what burns us up inside. I had a counselor awhile back that new I was married and helped in a situation that became a very eye opening experience. My marriage was very thin and I needed lets say guidance into self esteem issues of dating. In other words I needed to find out if my issues were mine and how can I overcome them. Counseling could help you with this issue. Now that I think about it I probably should've gone after my counselor, that wouldve been a conquest. She was kinda hot. I wouldve just had to get over the hairy legs.

The psychology of relationships is so amazing...

Pat

sandy

1/31/09 10:47am

After my divorce I thoguht the thing I needed to be happy again and move on with life was to find another relationship. However, as I dated I realized something was still missing and another person was not going to fill that. I realized I wasn't happy with myself and thought if only I could find somebody they could make me happy. It doesn't work that way. I had to work on me and being happy with me first. It is not easy and I have a long way to go but I feel better about making myself happy first instead of relying on somebody else to do that. Like everyone else when the time is right I want a good relationship. If that doesn't happen I'll still be happy with me and my life. Like I said I'm not there yet but I'm going to keep working on it.

You are putting too much emphasis on finding a relationship and everything will be better. I kinow because I have been there myself. Take time to work on you and what will make you happy, it's not easy but you have to be willing to put the work into it. I would suggest seeing a counselor. Mine has been helping a lot on finding out you who am and what I want first. You may have to go to different ones to find one that you like. I went thru 5-6 counselors till I found one that I felt knew what he was doing.

You have the best love in the world that anybody can have and that is your daughter. Don't give up hope. I am somewhat of a shy person to when it comes tomeeting people so try to go to group activities where you aren't expected to keep a conversation going. Work on gettingyour self-esteem up. There are a lot of woman where looks aren't the most important thing it's the confidence, compassion, trusting, self-assurance they display that is more important. So believing in yourself and showing that you like who you are will naturally draw people to you. It's hard getting there but you can do it. Most people are very critical of what they look like when if fact they don't look anything like they describe themselves. Like everone else said put up your picture and be proud of who you are. Remember you have the greatest love of all...your daughter, now you need to work on loving yourself.

soccermom1968

2/ 1/09 1:47am

Sounds like you need friends now before a relationship...I'm sure you're not hideous (however if you post with a Phantom of the Opera mask we might have something to say about the matter)...just kidding.

I've been through so much heartache, and feelings that I can't go on without "someone" in my life that I think I've made myself crazy.

Let me know if you want to talk more... (I can be kind of brutal at times : )

helper

1/ 8/10 8:54pm

listen to me, dont give up hope i feel alone and like a loser too sometimes but then i put my chin up and i love how i am . and i bet u can find a million things that are gr8 about u . you are beautiful everyones is , love doesnt have anythin to do with what u look like its much past that and when you find the girl that thinks the same then you are set. dont even think about hurting yourself its not going to do anything but make things worse for your daughter. your daughter loves you. dont give up on yourself and the world have faith and confidence its in everyone trust mee. dont listen to what people say im sure that your gonna find that special someone love always finds its way ok. dont give up soeriously. if you are born then you are meant to live your life your meant to be happy but your not meant to turn it down . so be thankful at least u have someone who cares for u like ur daughter. im jus saying it could be a lot worst. so believe me. everyone has good in them and i believe u have a lot. all u want is love i get that. let it come to u. be strong.

I feel so alone...

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