I think I am going crazy.

FootballMom is How are you doing? Living With It Hi, I have dealt with depression since I was a teenager. I have... Send Message Subscribe: FootballMom

Monday, May 11, 2009
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I cant function. My moods are so up and down. My mind races. I wonder why can't I be happy. The counsler I saw at church regarding problems in my marriage said to "give it to God" . Meaning trust God to guide me, to give me the answers. But it is sooo hard to...

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I know exactly how you feel.
Greeneyes55
Monday, May 11, 2009 at 11:30 PM

I can'y function either. I have always tried to hide my feelings and sadness behind closed doors, wanting people to see me as a happy person. I found out that the person I trusted and loved cheated on me and worst of all he lied to me and apologized to the other woman. I was so hurt and distraught and this happened December of 2008 when I found out. It hurts so much and there is nothing we could have done. I am also still with him and I love him very much, but am not sure how I am supposed to continue to be in this relationship. I have aslo, been to counseling, and go to church and try to listen every Sunday, and everything that they tell me is that it is not my fault. I dont know what to do anymore. Just glad to see that someone can relate unfortunately.

re: I know exactly how you feel.
FootballMom
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 10:30 AM

Thank you for sharing with me. Not that I would ever wish this on anyone but it is nice to talk with someone in the same boat.

Like you, I love my husband, even after everything that has happen. I want to make it work between us but at the same time I feel so vulnerable. He tells me he feels terrible for what he has done to me and our marriage but I always wonder if he really does. Am I a fool for still loving him? I stoped blaming myself for what happen, kind of.

Our anniversary is comming up, I can't celebrate it. I told him I feel that I should be mourning our marriage instead. How can I celebrate something tha wasn't what I thought it was?

Anyway, Today I feel a little better, I am actually getting some stuff done around the house. Hopefully it will be a good day. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.

God bless and I will be praying for you.

re: re: I know exactly how you feel.
Greeneyes55
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Thank you. I will also be praying for you. Today is also a better day for me. I'm not in that sad mood right now, but it just comes up out of nowhere. He has also apoligized to me and said that he is sorry and that he will never do it again, and that if i wanted to move on with our relationship than I need to get over what happened. They have no idea how it feels because they have never been through this before. I do know that I need to try my best to get over it but it's still so hard, I think about it a lot and everytime we argue that gets brought up on my part. Well I'm glad that you are having a good day and try to keep it up!

VASBYT
nadia23
Friday, May 15, 2009 at 08:20 AM

I am SO sorry to hear about your situation. It can be difficult to surrender control in order for things to become better. Depression is just one of those things, I personally think, no one can understand unless they have gone through the motions of darkness themselves. Letting go, just isnt as easy as we wish it to be. But you need to hang in there!!! Have you considered seeing a psychologist other than your church counsellor? If you just need someone to talk to, contact me any time.

nadia