Monday, May 11, 2009
I cant function. My moods are so up and down. My mind races. I wonder why can't I be happy.
The counsler I saw at church regarding problems in my marriage said to "give it to God" . Meaning trust God to guide me, to give me the answers. But it is sooo hard to do that!
I found out my husband had an affair last summer a few month ago. I have always been able to deal with my depression before but not now. I hurt so much. We are still together, I love him so much but it is so hard to "get over it and move on".
I just need a place to vent! To put my feelings into words.
I can'y function either. I have always tried to hide my feelings and sadness behind closed doors, wanting people to see me as a happy person. I found out that the person I trusted and loved cheated on me and worst of all he lied to me and apologized to the other woman. I was so hurt and distraught and this happened December of 2008 when I found out. It hurts so much and there is nothing we could have done. I am also still with him and I love him very much, but am not sure how I am supposed to continue to be in this relationship. I have aslo, been to counseling, and go to church and try to listen every Sunday, and everything that they tell me is that it is not my fault. I dont know what to do anymore. Just glad to see that someone can relate unfortunately.
Thank you for sharing with me. Not that I would ever wish this on anyone but it is nice to talk with someone in the same boat.
Like you, I love my husband, even after everything that has happen. I want to make it work between us but at the same time I feel so vulnerable. He tells me he feels terrible for what he has done to me and our marriage but I always wonder if he really does. Am I a fool for still loving him? I stoped blaming myself for what happen, kind of.
Our anniversary is comming up, I can't celebrate it. I told him I feel that I should be mourning our marriage instead. How can I celebrate something tha wasn't what I thought it was?
Anyway, Today I feel a little better, I am actually getting some stuff done around the house. Hopefully it will be a good day. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.
God bless and I will be praying for you.
Thank you. I will also be praying for you. Today is also a better day for me. I'm not in that sad mood right now, but it just comes up out of nowhere. He has also apoligized to me and said that he is sorry and that he will never do it again, and that if i wanted to move on with our relationship than I need to get over what happened. They have no idea how it feels because they have never been through this before. I do know that I need to try my best to get over it but it's still so hard, I think about it a lot and everytime we argue that gets brought up on my part. Well I'm glad that you are having a good day and try to keep it up!