Hello. My name is Anita and I'm really hoping this is an active board. I was officially diagnosed with depression about 12-13 years ago, I'm now 37. I know I've been deressed longer than that. The first time I thought about dying I was 8. I remember thinking I wished I'd fulfill my purpose in this world so God would take me away. My most recent of 3 suicide attempts was just this past sunday. I had a mutually decided upon break up with a guy I'd been seeing for the past six months, just days before my overdose. He wasn't the greatest guy, but no one seems to understand that I loved him, still do infact. Don't quite know how to make that stop. My heart hurts so badly. Going back though, I've attempted suicide 3 times, each time with pills. My closest to actually working was my second. I'm on all kinds of meds at this point. I just want as normal a life as I can manage with this depression. Looking for ideas on how to live a healthy life with this depression.
Hi, Anita - glad you found our site. There are a lot of good people here, good listeners and if you read a lot of the shareposts, you'll find a lot of ideas about ways people cope. Are you in any kind of therapy at all? Medication often isn't THE answer. For me, personally, the therapy has probably helped better than the medications have. Plus, you would have a place to talk through your feelings, especially at times like this when you've just ended a relationship.
I'm glad your suicide attempts didn't work. There's no guarantee that your pain will end with that and it would certainly cause more pain for the people who care about you; some live with guilt all their lives because of feeling somehow responsible.
Anyway, hope you will read some of the shareposts and questions/answers here on a variety of topics. We'd be interested in hearing more about you, too!
Well, hello Judy. I'm a 37 yr old Hispanic woman. I taught preschool for about 17 years and quit in August to become a full time student. I'm after an English Degree with Teacher Certification. I love to read and I'm a bit of a writer of short stories and ramblings as well. I have 2 kittens, Peabody and Nixie. I live alone and that's hard sometimes. I love music almost as much as i love books,almost. I am in therapy. I see her once a week, but we're gonna try and get me back into Neurofeedback. That's all I can think of about me.
Thanks for sharing some more about yourself, Anita. Your interests sound a lot like mine - music and reading are my biggies, plus some writing. I'm lucky to be retired, so have more time to pursue these interests, plus a one-year-old grandson that we adore and try to see at least once a week. You'll find there are a lot of people on this site who live alone (I'm not one of them). So, I hope you'll feel free to write here any time, make comments, whatever. I'm glad to hear you're in therapy so now I don't have to try to convince you any more! Make yourself at home!