Am I Up Or Down?

Hey Mandy,got your email last night, and this morning i wonder how we both are?.....? I love information and i would be glad for anymore info you feel like sharing. Sometimes with me i find myself feeling betterif i can see how someone else is handling their life. And it is my experience that its hard to be honest for alot of people

As for me, i am astranged from my mother and sister, so no talking there...........and that was the beginning of a lot of my nervousness anyhow.So for today, mandy dear, you're it.

i'm wondering if there is much benefit for me in seeing the doctor about uping my paxil from30 mgs...........but this social anxiety thing keeps me from being able to face that. but also if it won't really change it why should i try it............i've read and read, about this drug and that, this effect and that...am reluctant to try changing meds altogether.

Do you have this effect where you seem to be on a rollercoaster, maybe okay for awhile and just when you think it all may work out , the bottom falls out and you're worse than you could have ever thiught possible?

You mentioned feeling detatched from yourself, i feel this too, too often....not a pleasant thing.

sometimes its so strange to carry on your normal routine.....and on the inside ther is so much turmoil and confusion and noone knows. It's like walking through GLUE. deep glue.

So Mandy dear how is today going for you? My mornings are either rhe worst or best part of the day and by the afternoon i can rarely hold it together.........it's like playing monopoly in the dark. None of my decisions seem to be good ones and i feel as if i can't do anything right, and surely am of no worth........................now i do know the difference in truth and reality, but the strength of the feelings is so overwhelming at times.

Now you know my truth , iam crazy, but i still must plod along this lonesome road of living in my head..........if you can stand it we'll talk more on these things...

lauriebible

just read your response, nice to know that I am not alone, that feeling of being on a rollercoaster is scary, however, I have not had a good day in the past 6 months...it's been all downhill, the weight on my shoulders caused by this depression is getting overwhelming, I just want to close my eyes for ever.

I think you should see your Dr appt the paxil, maybe he will adjust it for your or find an alternative. I know it is hard to even face the possible of going to find out but you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I suffer from panic attacks to the point that I won't go out the door. Try to see your dr.

thinking about you

Mandy