I don't even know where to begin this post. It's about my sister. She is in need of help. For countless years my sister has been a cutter. A hardcore cutter. Her arms are mutilated and she won't show me her legs but I know they are bad, too. She says it helps her deal with pain. When I bawl my eyes out and curl up in a ball, she says thats my relief. Hers is to cut. She doesn't just cut tho. She also burns herself. She says its quicker and the pain is worse. A few years ago my sister attempted suicide. She insists it was just a bad cut and didnt mean it to get that bad. She was held under a suicide watch and forced to see a shrink. In the last year, she has lost 130 pounds. She said it was because she gave up meat and also she sold her car so she walks almost everywhere. She is in a great relationship with a man who she loves adn he loves her. I have never seen her as happy as this last year. She gets excited about all kinds of things and I had only seen new marks twice in the last year. I felt like she was getting better and I was so happy for her. But things aren't always what they seem...
Last weekend we were visting family out of the state. My sister tends to drink a lot. But our father is also an alcholic, so my sister admits she has a drinking problem. She said drinking makes her not want to cut so I guess she gets bombed almost everyday instead. While we were at the family event, she got way too drunk. I have never seen someone so emotionally out of control. She was trying to start an arguement with everyone. My other sister and I took her away for some sister bonding. Well, my drunk sister tells us she has talked to 7 shrinks in the last few years and noone can help her. She said she is terminal and has no hope. She also admitted to being raped as a teenage. I always suspected something had happened and I asked her several times if our stepdad had molested her. It wasn't him, but a much older coworker she was working with. I don't know what to do for my sister. I love her and hate to see her like this. Of course the next day she appologized and said she was just really drunk. She said her drinking isn't as bad as she was saying it was adn that she is getting better. I feel like it was a cry for help. I told her that and she said no trust me, if I wanted to be dead I would be. She said it just helps her. I don't know what to do for her.
Sara, I'm sorry to hear about your sister. What she says about the cutting bringing her relief is true, but I think she probably has a chemical dependency problem. One thing you can do is try to talk to her about getting treatment. If that doesn't work, you could consult a chemical dependency counselor and try to arrange an intervention along with other family members and friends - and if her boyfriend would agree to join you, it could be really valuable. This is where you sit down with the person and tell them how their drinking and addiction has affected you, each person gets a turn to talk. The goal is to have them agree to go into treatment RIGHT THEN so there's no time to think twice about it.
Ultimately, though, she has to want to get better. She says she's seen 7 shrinks, but I wonder if she told them about the drinking. You can talk your head off to somebody six ways to Sunday but if you're using or drinking, you're not being honest and you won't be helped.
Maybe you could talk about this with some trusted family members. My siblings and I did this with my mother years ago. It wasn't a total success, but she is drinking less and is still around 25 years later. It might be worth a try. I wish you all the best and hope you will write again and keep us posted - about yourself, as well.
Thank you! That's excellent advice and it's nice to hear that even if it's not a complete success, there can still be major improvement! That in itself is a huge step. Thanks again