What do i do now?

I've been living with depression for 8 years and I am just now getting off of medication. My symptoms are coming back and I am hoping that it is just an adjustment period and that I will mentally even out again.  Regarding your boyfriend, I have been doing the same thing lately (2 or 3 weeks) and I really feel horrible about it. It's only been about a week that I've been really bad but I don't know if he will forget it. He talked to me about it yesterday for the first time. He is going to a therapist to deal with other issues that he has had in the past and I think that it will help with dealing with me and help him get rid of some of his anger and understand.  I think that your boyfriend is probably angry because he knew that he could not say anything back then because of what you were dealing with and he was never able to express how he was feeling and now all of those feelings are jumbled up inside of him still. Now that you are learning how to deal with things, he probably has a lot that he wants to say but because he's kept it inside for so long he may not know how.  You really need to let him get that out so that he does not resent you for what happened. I think that you should either suggest that he talk to a professional, or if you think that you can handle hearing what he may have to say without becoming angry, you should try talking to him about it.  If he doesn't get it out, you will not be able to have a healthy relationship. I know that what happened and how you had been reacting was not your fault at all and just wanted to stress that, but the feelings that he has from what went on are real and should be taken seriously. I hope that this helped. 

I have the same fears that you do about my relationship. As I said, it has really only been a week or 2 that have been bad but he told me yesterday that he does not know if he can take it anymore. I am so scared.

I think that you should really thank him to for helping you through it and trying not to take your outbreaks personally all that time because he knew that you were sick.  It was really mature of him to be able to handle that so he is probably dealing with the fall out now.

was diagnosed whilst married and had similar episodes with my (now ex) husband.. but he was always a trigger though.. things he would say and do.. or perhaps in my mind he was the trigger... seeing someone new and even though i have outbursts from time to time its not as a result of the current relationship.. a few months into the relationship i took him with to a therapy session with the psychiatrist and they spoke about deepression, what it is and what he can expect.. he (current beau) had a chance to talk about how he deals with it.. and how he should deal with outbursts.. so its been an amazing time thus far.. yes there is guilt because he has to deal with the down times but not once has he made me feel guilty.. just a thought

If you cry really easily, it is a sign of a problem.  Go back to your therapist - you are dealing with a big adjustment with getting your health back, learning to live with depression, healing your relationship and you need all the support you can get.  As well, couples counselling could be a good place for you and your boyfriend to discuss your issues in a setting where both of you feel safe to share them.

Illness is hard on relationships, whether the illness is physical or mental.  Sometimes, the relationship can heal and become stronger and sometimes the damage is irreversible.  Only you can decide when it's right to stay and when it may be right to go.  However, if you feel that your boyfriend is holding your illness against you and can't let go of that, then maybe you should think about whether you can handle being blamed for something that is not your fault.  I have rheumatoid arthritis and use a wheelchair because of it.  Would it be fair to blame me for not being able to walk?  Or for being in pain?  Would it be reasonable for my partner to say I have no right to say anything to him ever again because he stayed with me when I was ill?  Is that a normal relationship between equals?  Another question you can think about is how long you are supposed to be grateful and how much.  Being grateful that somebody supported you during a hard situation is good, having to express that gratitude daily is probably not healthy.

I have a friend who was very hard to live with when she was suffering from bad depression.  She is much better now, as is our friendship is stronger now and her relationship with her boyfriend.  It is possible to heal, but both parties have to be willing to heal. 

I wish you the best of luck.  Please let us know how it goes.

hi., i mysef have similar bouts with depression and take meds., for a long time now., i also suffer from panic attacts., so, i can relate.., the therapy and medicine mix is good., depending on the medicine your taking? and it is always great to talk to somone who has an objective view. talk to your bf. tell him that you arent feeling all that well, and you do not mean to act out, or take things out on him., i am sure he will understand., and then....... think before you act out... stop yourself., breathe , wait., let it pass.... hope you feel better., prayers out to you., a friend in las vegas., donna

I think you should explain your boyfriend about your depression, and that he understands that  you were not aggresive because this is your nature, but because of an illness that you are now treating.

Dina