It has almost been a year ago that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Never have had time to deal with having cancer. My oldest son had a terrible accident and had to take care of him. Now I find myself so angry with myself an just about everyone I work with. Have never been physically violent with anyone before, but feel very out of control.
Have no use for my cancer doctors they just chalk everything to depression. I waited over six months before going to the doctor because I am so use to everything being in my head. I am pysically tired all of the time and my coworkers even comment on how tired I look. I just want to feel good. Yes I am sure that depression has some to do with it..but not all. My doctor is such a genious that she spoke before she looked at the meds I was on. O I guess it must be depression. I take my meds but am feeling like why should I. Never feel better just the same. My life is work and work and work some more. That is the only way that makes me feel worthy. My mother instilled a work ethic like non other. Some time she taught us to be to strong. Have attempted suicide more than once and just want the pain to to all stop.
Just have no idea what to do...
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Hi Toni
You clearly have a lot on your plate right now. May I ask you some questions to get a better picture of what is currently going on?
What stage of breast cancer are you dealing with?
I am getting the picture that you are on depression meds but they aren't working? What kind of meds are you taking right now? And do you have a therapist to talk to?
How is your son doing now? How many children are you taking care of and do you have any supports as in family?
As for anger...sure...that is totally understandable. This isn't fair...all this stuff happening to you. And too...one way people deal with things is through work. I do the same thing.
How can we best help you here? Sometimes people just want to talk and vent and sometimes people are ready to hear about information and resources. Give us an idea of where you are in all this and we will respond accordingly.
One resource I do want to tell you about right away is about our breast cancer site. If you haven't been over there yet please do. A lady named PJ Hamel runs it and she is wonderful...she has been through breast cancer too.
These things you are dealing with are not easy and I applaud you for coming here to talk candidly about your experience.
Let us know more...we are here to listen.
I had stage two and treatment went well. My son is better and getting back to work. I have been on lithium,parnate, geodon. I do not like the geodon it is two sedating to me. Just feeling so over whelmed and have a great therapist. My psycharist is good too. Think that I am just so over the edge that I feel up against the wall. My good friend also passed away on Sunday from breast cancer. So my funk just seems to get deeper. Thanks for listening.
I am glad to hear that you have good people to help you. Everyone needs support.
I am very sorry about your friend...no wonder you are feeling down. You are grieving. Please take time for yourself to feel all of your emotions whatever they may be.
Please also know that you can vent here any time...get it all out. Sometimes it can help to have a place to go which is safe to just be you. I hope this is such a place for you.
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing.