Do not know where to turn

I have been very down for weeks now. Have been keeping all of my appoinments with my doctors but still feeling awful. Have many things going on in my life from work,financial,health, and loss. My youngest son is leaving next week for the Navy and I am very happy and proud of him. It is going to be a huge change. My health is good I think but my doctor found a lump and I go for more test Monday. Work is driving me crazy and most of the people that work with me think I am crabby all of the time. My other son is about to be on the street because of illness and not able to pay his house payments. It has been a year since my dad passed away. It just feels like everything is just keeps crashing down on me. Hate getting up in the morning just want to crawl in a hole and give up. Have had many sucidal thoughts and made phone calls to get help. I am scared that the time is going to happen that I can not make or reach out for help.

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