hi i have been with my husband for 14 years and two children.  A couple of times my husband has run of in depression for weeks and months at a time.  When asked why by family members its because of me.  The first time which was serious to other side of world I felt like I had killed him or i had done something so bad like one of the children wasnt his.  The guilt was awful for me at the time.  This time his mother has died and again he carnt tell people why or whats wrong so i am to blame because i told him to stop drinking so we up and go.  At the time he carnt bring himself to speak to me or look at me.  He firstly sat in his car and when he had heard enough he would drive of.  It has been very difficult to learn to deal with.  I have been to our doctor whom said he learnt this behaviour from his childhood from his parents whom divorced when he was young.  I do understand what it feels like to be hated and blamed but these people couldnt tell the local shop keeper or blame there children or brother etc.  They would be laughed at and walked away from you are the closet person whom he can of load to he wont understand hes hurting you as he is so focused on himself and how so un happy he feels.  When they are really depressed they do not show any emotion or empathy so it is quite good hes able to write it down as it is coming out dont take it personally.  The more you go against a depressed person the further they push you away.  So just appologise and when hes been hurtful just say your sorry they felt that way.  Theres no reasoning with someones depressed mental state. I hope this helps you.