Trying to let it be for now but it's hard

Today was a good day. My Mom who is a special ed teacher had the day off from work so we went to Barnes and Nobles and Target. Then I came home and played on the computer for most of the day and then my Aunt stopped by for a visit so that was good too. I'm trying so hard not to think about the FISH test results. I keep thinking of the lyrics from Let It Be by The Beatles "there will be an answer. let it be" but it's been hard. I remind myself that if the test comes back negative that I have gotten so much. Finding resources that I otherwise wouldn't have gone looking for and making connections as well that otherwise I wouldn't have. In 1987 my Dr. wanted to do some gentic testing because he saw some things that didn't seem right like my long fingers, etc plus my heart problems as a baby. By the time the hospital in Sacramento found my stuff from 1978 the health insurance denied it and it didn't go any further. My parents have always made sure my sister who is the opposite of me in terms of school and I needed. They had me in speech thearpy, special ed pe and in special ed for math. I also had the hearing aids as well. I have an old friend whose Mom refused to learn sign language once they discovered he was deaf. I can't imagine my parents doing that. If I had his Mom (he doesn't know who is dad is, not even a name) I'd be in a very dark place....so I am trying to focus on the good no matter the outcome. Here's my first grade picture that we sent to UC Davis and they responded on a Sunday!