lost and lonely

mj2356 is lonely. Living With It raped, lost friends, lonely. recently, my best friend stopped calling me. i spent the past six... Send Message Subscribe: mj2356

Monday, June 01, 2009
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for most of my life i went to a private school. i was a shy, sweet girl with friends, and i was happy. the depression started in seventh grade. my friends decided i wasn't happy enough for them, so they left me. i was friendless for a long time, and i was severely unhappy. i cut myself once or twice,...

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You are not a terrible person...
Merely Me
Monday, June 01, 2009 at 05:34 PM

Hi there

First and foremost...you are not a terrible person. You just may have made some unwise choices.

What grade are you in now?

I think it is so hard to be a teen nowadays. Perhaps it has always been hard...the same issues were there for me as a teen...sex...drugs...being wild.

I am very sorry that you were taken advantage of sexually. I think you may want to examine how you are in such situations and things you can do to prevent things from getting out of hand. I will not lecture you...but honestly...it could have turned out far worse...if you had gotten pregnant or with an STD. I am telling you things you do not know but...in a few minutes you can change your life forever.

Think of this as an opportunity...you can turn your life around right now. What do you want out of life? What direction do you wish to go? You steer the ship. You are young...with many years ahead. And before you think I am an old fart...okay I am...but honestly...I have seen things you have seen. I was surrounded by insanity when I was young. I had access to every indulgence...every way to destroy my life. Yet I was spared.

High School only lasts so long...it is a short time in your life. Focus on what comes next.

Who do you wish to become?

Friends will come...but you have to find yourself first.

Remember that...you are worth waiting for...you don't need to give it away...in some moment that you won't remember later.

Imagine your older self talking to you...what would she say? What would she regret?

You are a good person...worthy of so much. This will pass and you will begin anew.

Let us know how things go for you.

thank you!!
mj2356
Tuesday, June 02, 2009 at 12:47 AM

Thank you so much for your response! i wasn't even sure if i was going to get one. I'm sixteen. Andd I absolutely loved this part of the response:

"Think of this as an opportunity...you can turn your life around right now. What do you want out of life? What direction do you wish to go? You steer the ship."

That analogy is really good. Its very true that i steer my own ship. I just mostly need to embrace that fact! I have trouble dealing with the fact that i have nobody. i hate sitting at home, especially now that its summer, because i literally do nothing. do you have any suggestions on meeting people?

anyway,

thanks so much :)

re: thank you!!
Merely Me
Tuesday, June 02, 2009 at 08:27 PM

Hi again!

Oh I am so glad that my response was helpful in any way. I just wanted to mainly tell you that there is hope...there is always hope.

Summer can be a hard time but it is also a good time because...you are not in school and having to cope with the drama there. This gives you opportunities to explore things you like to do. Do you like to do any sports or do you have any hobbies? Your activities are a way to meet people. When I was a teen I would get the brochure from the parks and recreation in your community and they always offer classes that are fun...like art or belly dancing or photography...whatever you are interested in.

You could also volunteer somewhere...doing something which you may be interested in as a future career.

There is a site called Meet Up where you plug in your zipcode and it lists all of these groups you can join for anything from seeing movies to book clubs. That might be a good way to meet people.

Of course being sixteen...you could get a job too for some extra cash.

There is that old cliche which is so true though...this is the first day of the rest of your life. What will you do with it?

I truly wish the best for you. You have had a very hard time of it. And too...if you want to pursue this...maybe talking to a counselor or therapist might help. You have been through the trauma of being sexually victimized...this can be difficult to deal with on your own.

Let us know how things go for you. My thoughts are with you.

re: re: thank you!!
chelsea
Monday, July 13, 2009 at 09:44 AM
Hi I'm 16 almost 17 I'm going through the same exact thing your going through. I was online looking for help and I saw this. It made me cry because I was like wow I'm not the only person. I've gone through that whole thing. I've had best friends who ditched me because I was a "slut". I was taken advantage of when I was high last year and everyone hated me because he had a girlfriend and it wasn't my fault. I was the partyer last year I drank every weekend. I decided to not be like that after my friends left me because now I have a better oppertunity.. I'm still so lonely. I have a boyfriend who tries to help me but I feel like the only people who will understand are people who have been through the same. So basicaly I'm so lonely I don't have any friends to hang out with and I even started talking to myself lol.. Maybe we can exchange emails or something so we can talk about it. You don't have to but it mite make us feel a little better :] thanks!

re: re: re: thank you!!
mj2356
Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 05:20 AM

yayy im glad you found this. i definately wanna get your email address. do you know how to do it like privately??

Hey you are not alone
Lomns
Saturday, August 22, 2009 at 09:54 AM

I totally understand how you feel and highschool can be a very hard and tough place where you don't know who your true friends are and people who you think are your friends are really fake. Being lonely is a good stage that we have to go through in order to see how being lonely will feel at some point in our lives. I am sure you will meet so many better friends when you are off to college and professional and I am sure you will meet a wonderful husband and have a wonderful family. I am really sorry you had to experience this and I am hoping that things will get better for all us lonely people in the world.