DEPRESSION FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE

By KOREAVET Sunday, January 22, 2012

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I HAVE HAD SEVERE DEPRESSION MY ENTIRE LIFE. I CAN REMEMBER HAVING IT EVEN BEFORE I STARTED SCHOOL. DURING MY SCHOOL YEARS, I HAD IT WHILE IN COMBAT IN KOREA, DURING MY MARRIED YEARS. I NOW OVER 80 AND IT CONTINUES LIKE A SPEEDING TRAIN. I WAS MARRIED 49 YEARS WHEN

MY WIFE PASSED AWAY. I ALWAYS BEEN VERY CREATIVE AND INVENTED MANY THINGS. I BEEN IN THE NEWSPAPERS A NUMBER OF TIMES. I HAVE ABOUT 15

NEW POEMS THAT I WRITTEN SINCE MY WIFE PASSSED AWAY BUT I AM STILL LOCKED IN A RUNAWAY DEPRESSION. I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I

GO TO A DOCTOR FOR MANY YEARS WHO HAS TRIED MOST OLD AND NEW

ANTI-DEPRESSANTS BUT NO LUCK. THE SAME RESULTS AT THE VA. I TRULY AM WORSE SINCE MY WIFE PASSED AWAY. I DO NOT SEE ANY REASON TO GO ON.

depressed and lost

Comments (7) | Add comment

tmhamp101

1/22/12 7:47pm

So sorry to hear about your struggles with depression and the loss of your wife. I too have suffered from depression most of my life and am currently in a severe episode. I know that sometimes it seems like it's not worth going on but I just keeping thing about others need me. What would happen to my kids if I hurt myself? Even if you think no one else cares, I do. I hope that you stay in the community here and that you realize that you are not alone. Much blessings to you. We are all in this together.

KOREAVET

1/22/12 9:12pm

HI , Thanks for writing. My children live in other states and sometimes they do not call me for a week. I belong to several veterans groups and help them with their computers. I also keep busy with my Ham Radio. I keep writing poems and songs which I started after my wife passed away. She was also a ham radio operator. She passed away Oct. 5, 2009 and the grief had grown worse. I have no problem cooking because I did most of the cooking during our married life. I eat very healthy. I am 4 pounds more that when I got out of the military. My height is about 1 inch shorter. I exercise a lot to keep my depression in check even though its not as effective as before my wife died. I been to several grief doctors and grief meetings with almost zero relief. I am sure that my writing on this will help me especially getting replies like yours. Thanks for replying and have a great week.

irwin

Merely Me

1/22/12 7:50pm

Hello Koreavet

You are almost the same age my father would have been had he lived. He had also fought in Korea. My father died at the age of 34 leaving me and my mother alone. He died of alcoholism. My mother, who has schiizophrenia, never got over the death of my father but she found ways to carry on all these years.

I am not sure that antidepressants work very well for grief. Sometimes they may take the edge off and help you to cope.

How long has it been since your wife has passed away? Do you have any children or grandchildren?

Would you like to talk about your wife here? Sometimes it can help just to talk about it.

Does your therapist help you with your grief? This is essential.

It sounds like you have many gifts to share with the world. It is a good step that you are sharing here.

We would like you to stay. If you need immediate assistance we can give you some hotline numbers. Let us know if you need them.

Can you tell us more of your story? We are listening. Please bear in mind that we are not therapists and we are not here 24/7 but if you write...you will receive a response usually within a day.

Thank you for reaching out here.

KOREAVET

1/22/12 9:01pm

HI MM, Thanks for writing. I am so sorry about your dad dying at such an early age. I can understand how hard it must have been on your mother. My children live in other states and sometimes they do not call me for a week. I belong to several veterans groups and help them

with their computers. I also keep busy with my Ham Radio. I keep writing poems and songs

which I started after my wife passed away. She was also a ham radio operator. She passed

away Oct. 5, 2009 and the grief had grown worse. I have no problem cooking because I did

most of the cooking during our married life. I eat very healthy. I am 4 pounds more that

when I got out of the military. My height is about 1 inch shorter. I exercise a lot to keep my depression in check even though its not as effective as before my wife died. I been to several

grief doctors and grief meetings with almost zero relief. I am sure that my writing on this

will help me especially getting replies like yours. Thanks for replying and have a great week.

irwin

KOREAVET

1/22/12 9:01pm

with their computers. I also keep busy with my Ham Radio. I keep writing poems and songs

which I started after my wife passed away. She was also a ham radio operator. She passed

away Oct. 5, 2009 and the grief had grown worse. I have no problem cooking because I did

most of the cooking during our married life. I eat very healthy. I am 4 pounds more that

when I got out of the military. My height is about 1 inch shorter. I exercise a lot to keep my depression in check even though its not as effective as before my wife died. I been to several

grief doctors and grief meetings with almost zero relief. I am sure that my writing on this

will help me especially getting replies like yours. Thanks for replying and have a great week.

irwin

Judy

1/23/12 8:58pm

Hi, Irwin. I'm so sorry about your wife and that you've been feeling so badly and nothing seems to be working. Do you have a psychotherapist? You didn't mention that, but if you don't, it might be very helpful to have someone you can talk to. I'm wondering, too, if some of your life-long depression might be related to PTSD from being in combat. Sometimes that never goes away all by itself. A therapist could help you with that, too. My dad is a WWII vet and I would almost bet money that he still has the effects of PTSD, but he would never get help.

I have PTSD from a different kind of trauma and I can tell you, antidepressants alone have not done the trick. I believe that it requires healing of both body and soul and it can be done in a variety of ways, from therapy to reaching out to friends to finding new interests. Anyway, I hope you can find some relief somewhere. You've come to a good place for support and I hope we will hear more from you.

KOREAVET

1/23/12 9:42pm

Hi Judy, Thanks for writing that nice reply. I been going to a psychiatrist for many years, I went also for help at the VA, I been on different medicans however nothing had helped. I kept diaries for many years and it shows that I had this before I even started public school. I went into the military having it. when I picked the title for the first part of my book, my doctor medical doctor who is a friend of mine said to me how could you pick a title like that. Now he said that it looks like it may have been the correct title. My children live in other states and I am lucky to see them once a year. I do a lot of computer work for my veteran groups. I continue to write more songs and poems. I continue to eat very healthy. I continue to write more of my book. I see my life flying away and with a never ending depression. Again I want to thank you so much for writing and I will keep you up to date and I pray that you should feel good. Hasve a great year. Irwin

DEPRESSION FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE

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