surprise

well i feel like ive been somebody else for the past four years and ive only just realised.

Ive discovered that ever since i lost my brother, ive always had something wrong in my life, when most things in my life have been okay there was always problems. i thought that i was just unlucky, then i thought that, that was just the way it was meant to be.

now i realised that even through there may have been a small problem in the first place i would zone in on that and behave in a way to make it worst and then it would be the big problem that i always had. I would make a big deal out of a small argument making it a full scale roit and that would mean relationship problems which would be something wrong in my life. i would not do something at home even though i knew that it would cause a disagreement with my parents. ive always thought that theses disagreements or arguments where just my bad luck but now i realise that ive been causing it all im not really sure what to do or what to think.