I'm trapped

By Kyle Thursday, November 03, 2011

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Yup. Definitely trapped. I can't work a full time job cause if I do I'll be making "too much" money and my parents will have to pay more rent which comes out of my pocket as well. In fact they could lose housing all together which would make things even worse. If I claim I moved out they could possibly force us into a 1 bedroom so I can't do that. Either way I'm losing.

And foodstamps would be taken away as well. More money out of my pocket. I can't believe I'm completely trapped here. If I have to spend all of my earnings keeping my family afloat then I can't save it to get things started for me.

You know what I had to pass up this week cause I'm afraid for my family? 1800 a month job with Bonuses, Benefits, and a fantastic schedule of monday through friday 11AM to 8PM. That's like the god damn holy grail of jobs for someone in my situation. And my parents feel terrible about this cause they don't want their son to have to buy their groceries and pay their rent...

Guess I can't blame them. I'd do the same in this situation. Kinda funny I don't even have kids but I got the whole parent guilt thing going. Really I am just having one effed up week. And this is a situation that won't simply go away and there's no real way to solve this issue.

I got talents I can't use. Anything payed to me via check will eventually find it's way to the state and they'll punish my family extensively. I really wish I could work under the radar. Get paid cash for my work. But the world doesn't work that way unless you want to get arrested for tax evasion. Plus if you have no proof of income good luck doing anything substantial with your earnings. IRS keeps a close eye on large purchases. And I can't move under those circumstances because anything rent controlled demands proof of income.

Moving back to the original point. Screw this crap. I wish this would just end. But if I die my parents are gonna get hit with a shitstorm anyway so I threw that out of my mind rather quickly.

So, now I can't even die. My state won't let me die cause they're holding my damn family hostage and as soon as I go the state promises me their lives will get much much harder.

Thinking about applying for benefits at a later date. My brother in law gets disability for PTSD. Now then, If only I could have a psychotic episode or yet another mental breakdown.

WISH ME LUCK.

where are you when i need a friend

Comments (3) | Add comment

Merely Me

11/ 4/11 9:34pm

Hi Kyle

You will have to be patient with me. I am not quite understanding your situation. How is your income tied into your parent's well-being and finances and how is the state involved?

I can't say I know what your situation is like because I am unsure of the details. But I do know what it is like to have to figure out finances due to a parent. My mother received widow's benefits for some time and I had to make up the rest as soon as I could get a job...which for me was at age 15. At one point I was juggling school and three jobs. It gets crazy I know.

If you can...let us know more details and maybe we can research some options for you. Or at least point you in the right direction.

I think right now you are frustrated and angry over the situation and the system and understandably so. But we do want you to stick around. There must be some other answers to your dillema.

Hang in there. I know it is not easy. Keep talking talking to us.

Judy

11/ 4/11 11:48pm

Kyle, as much as you care about what happens to your parents, you are not responsible for their welfare for the rest of their lives. I think I understand somewhat how this works - your parents are evidently getting some kind of assistance that having you as a dependent has some bearing on. Part of the money they have to live on is based on your also living there and not having much of an income. I don't know any details, of course, but you are entitled to a life. You should not have to turn down a good-paying job because this would cause your household to have too much income. I know the system can be screwed up. I have an adult son with a disability and he is lucky to have a decent-paying job and still receive some assistance because of his disability and not being able to be totally independent. When he lived at home, he received Social Security benefits and sure, it helped out with his expenses, but I would never in a million years have expected him to purposely make inadequate wages so that he could receive benefits. Is there someone you can talk to about this? I'm thinking your parents must have some kind of case worker who could maybe shed some light on what's possible for them if you move out. I don't know their situation, of course, but this situation YOU are in is not right.

I hope you'll write some more about this, maybe some other people might have more experience with this and have some ideas.

Marishka

11/ 5/11 9:50am

Hi Kyle,

I know very well the feeling of trapped. But I know for me and for you and anyone, as much as we feel trapped, it is just a feeling based on limited thinking patterns.

The guy who got stuck under a boulder by himself way off hiking some mountain must have felt completely trapped, literally and figuratively. But his mind allowed him to think the impossible and he cut off his arm in order to free himself. Now this is obviously an analogy and drastic example.

But as for my own 'trapped' feeling and yours, it is just a matter of opening the mind, I think to untapped solutions and possibilities. I really believe this and am trying to do it too. Our own thinking can limit us so much.

Upon your post and my writing, I think for myself now, I will go take a sheet of paper and brainstorm. All things I can think of as solutions to my dilemmas. I suggest this to you too! Anything, crazy as it may be, or less crazy too. Let the brain just come up with anything for solutions.

I am going to do this now. I know sometimes for me, it is best for me to do in quiet, in nature when my brain can tap into a more creative state.

We all know the saying, if you are given lemons, make lemonade!

And I think I may get a juicer and get some lemons and make some homemade lemonade since it is better than any store bought and it is something I have been thinking about for a while and just have not done....

sorry, rambling a bit, but hope any words may have been helpful in some way.

I just bought a card for myself and put it in my room. It says, just when the caterpillar thought its world was ending, it became a butterfly!

I've seen you come through many situations on here, bounce back with positivity! I may have too in my life, just harder to recognize for ourselves.

Marishka

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