I'm frustrated. It's just another one of those days when I'm just tired of everything. Feels like my life is a really bad song on repeat. It's just over and over and over again with the same sad story. Wake up, ...Sleep. Feeling physically ill and my head is bumping like I'm under extreme pressure yet I'm just at home typing this out. So tired of this feeling of extreme dread like I'm falling from an airplane with no chute and just watching the ground get closer and closer. Life flashing before my eyes I got nothing to be proud of but I'm young so I guess there's still time.

But time just crawls for me. Seconds feel like hours days feel like weeks. I'm 21 but I feel like I'm waiting to die. Like nothing matters anymore. Life is done and over with. I'm bored of it all like I got nothing left to try.

I just thought that I would share my thoughts. Cause it helps me a little bit and who knows it might even help you to know, if you feel this way, that you are not alone. I need structure like that. Feels like me Vs. the world sometimes. But all these bad feelings must pass sometime.

I am waiting on a decision by the disability board of the Social Security Administration. If only the people in charge of my file and my forms could feel the way I do. Then they would understand. But seeing as how it takes a psychic to feel the emotions of others I do not think it's gonna happen.

Or maybe I have a soulmate linked to me on the board who can feel my dread. I don't know. All I can do is wait.