Didn't Mean to Disappear

I am so.... blah.. I can't say I'm in crisis.... but I can't say I'm doing well either. I had some very frustrating financial issues... it just seems like I get a couple steps ahead and then slam... double that backwards. For awhile it was taking every bit of effort I could muster just to get through my days and it didn't seem like I had anything left over for even the most cursory of journaling efforts.

I'm still on the 150mg a day of effexor xr, and I'm still thinking it's not really enough... but I don't know how much is meds and how much is me needing to be more careful with diet and exercise.

Recently I got a small salary increase, and I've paid off some old debts... i feel like I'm getting somewhere... I'm hoping to get out of my apartment and into my own home within a few months.. but I'm also terrified of taking that step. Today I paid off an old pension loan that got screwed up during my job change back when I left NYC in '01. It was so nice to hand over that last little check. As soon as that check clears I can get verification that the loan is not in default and start working on home financing.

I know I'm not in crisis because I can manage to make plans, see some positive potential coming... but I hate the blahs.... then again.. blah is way better than being deep in the dark hole of the worst of it...