hello there...like I said..since your older...take things into your won hands and seek the help you need....my therapist once told me that I could control no-one except me..and I could change noone but myself....and it's been one heck of a time trying to do this...I have been suffering for trhte past 22 years...I have been in hospitals...rehabs..had electric shock therapy...taken enough different meds at times to help me...I have tried the suicide route...and believe me...I am so thankful to still be here...I am not saying that there haven't been times I would see myself going back into that deep dark hole and falling....but; that is when I knw I need to ask for help and not give up till someone gets it from me that I DO need help...I have been married for 36 years..and my hubby had never dealt with anyone like me before and he has stayed by my side throughout...many times when I thought if the shoe was on the other foot...I am not sure I could have....so, pick yourself up by your boot straps and make that first move.....remember..your the ne in charge of you.......good luck....izzy14