another day

Today I feel a bit better from this flu thing.  I fought the depression for one more day....  yesterday was hard.  I have found that I need to figure out how to rely on myself and have my own power.  I have done a lot of journaling and even though each day is a struggle and I am having a panic attack right now, I can get through.  This one minute is all I need to get through.... 

That needs to be enough for now.  What with my past haunting me, my present issues with my husband that I am divorcing, no job, no money and no way out....  I have the power of getting through right now.  And that has to be enough....  Eventually I know, that I will be out of here, be better able to think for myself, deal with the past and take on the here and now more wisely.  I can think positively about my mental illness and know that most of the symptoms that go on in my body are somatic and just PTSD and depression.  I know that one day I will conquer this....