eating disorder

My boyfriend left me last sunday (father's day) which happened to be four days before our highschool graduation. My life has flipped upside down because of it. He has been my only friend for an entire year. I trusted him completely and he lied to me about everything. I'm doing better this week than I was last week. Last week I was completely suicidal and I made my friend Kris come get me so I wouldn't hurt myself. I was crying hysterically everyday. This week I was finally able to get mad, which I should be. I've been talking to his mom and brother (who's my best friend right now). His mom is so disappointed in him and they're both really pissed at him for doing this to me. I feel so worthless. On top of all that, I think I've developed an eating disorder. I've dropped 5 pounds and I think people are starting to notice. I want to eat- I love food so much. But whenever I eat I feel so disgusting and unhappy with myself. All I think about is not eating which makes me want to eat, but I hate myself after I eat. I want the instant gratification of a bag of chips but I know it would make me more unhappy. If anything I wish I could make myself throw up so I could still eat a little, but I don't want to ruin my teeth. I can't get this off my mind. I just want to be skinnier. I want to get down to a hundred pounds so badly and I'm only six pounds away.