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made it through the night.

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angelmaker

angelmaker

Sun, August 02, 2009

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work was insane tonight, and I was ready to just walk out of there. I'm ready to just quit. there were a lot of other thing contributing to my stress tonight besides work, but I just don't have the energy to go into them and think about them. I don't have the energy to do anything anymore. No matter how exhausted I am, I can't sleep. I'm never hungry anymore. I've eaten one thing all day and I don't feel hungry. I've got a stomach ache and I feel bloated and gross. Things with my family haven't been going to well lately. Not that I usually get along with my mom, but she's been really pissing me off. It's like she's always trying to say the wrong thing to hurt my feelings.

I'm calling my doctor tomorrow, but I don't know when she'll be able to give me an appointment. I'd love to see her now, but most people are asleep.

I can't do this anymore. I've lost the will to live completely. Even the people that I love aren't enough to keep me here anymore, I feel like they cause me more pain than good. I don't want to be alive anymore.

 

8/ 3/09 4:03pm

I know exactly how are you feeling right now. I've been there sadly many times in my life and I am barely older than you are. I am only 20 years old and know how it feels. The most important question I have got to ask you is if you have found faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not asking in a way to preach to you to like a priest or a preacher. But honestly my faith in God has been the only thing that has kept me from killing myself. I do not want to spend eternity in hell and want to spend it in heaven with him. If you have not known our great lord this is the best time to get to know him. Faith is extremely important in the battle against depression. 

8/ 4/09 12:31am

I'm actually an atheist. I have no disrespect for your faith in god, but Christianity, let alone any other organized religion is something that I strongly disagree with. Not to say that I'm not a very spiritual person.

I just see so many faults in the ideas of god and jesus, and there's no way I'll ever follow any religion that sees women as secondary to men.

8/ 4/09 2:44pm

Hi there

 

So did you get an appointment with your doctor?  I know this is a rough time for you.  I want you to hang in there though.  If you are feeling bad you can always come here and write to us. 

 

I have some hotline numbers I will give to you should you need them.   I have used them myself and the people are really helpful. 

 

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

  1800-784-2433

  1800-799-4889  

 

Let us know how you are doing.  We care.

8/ 4/09 2:47pm

I have an appointment at 730 tonight. I'm really nervous but I'm trying to keep myself busy while i wait.

8/ 4/09 2:51pm

Ooooh good for you!

 

You are going to do great.  Just be yourself and let this person know what is going on with you.  I will have high hopes for you.

 

Please let us know how it all goes.

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