xxpalmer

Hello,

   I am new to this site.  I never had a real problem with depression until after the birth of my child.  I went thru "post partum" depression starting when she was about six months old.  Paxil helped, I thought that once my depression was gone it would be gone for good if I didn't have another baby.  A couple of years later I find that I am susceptible to relapse, I don't like taking medication and I stopped taking it again.  The depression is back.  It is hard to accept that this is for good now.  I have started back on Paxil and for the first few days I always feel awful.  Having to go through this should make me never want to stop taking it for fear of having to go back on. 

  I joined this site just looking for support and other people who understand.  It seems like everybody takes anti depressants, but few know what real clinical depression is like.  Few people understand it.  Everyone tells me, "you have a beautiful daughter, everyone is healthy, why are you depressed?"  I don't know why I am depressed.  It is not about my family, I feel guilty for feeling depressed when I have a healthy, happy family.  I want to get well, I don't want my daughter to have to live a mom like this.  Anyway, I am just happy to be able to share with people who know.

  Does anybody else feel bad for a few days after starting the meds?  Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated!!