A part of me feels like I moved way to fast and maybe some of it was a mistake. I moved in with my husband after knowing him for like 5 months, got married after knowing him for a yr, then got pregnant 2 months after the wedding.I don't think of my daughter as a mistake, but maybe we should of waited. We fight all the time now. I quit my job to be a stay at home mom, I dont really have any friends since I live far away from them. All I do is pretty much stay home with my baby, who hasn't been sleeping through the night anymore, and is VERY fussy sometimes. And I'm tired by the end of the day. I don't do anything fun anymore. When my husband gets home he wants to relax by watching tv. I watch cartoons all day and maybe one of my shows. I don't get time away from her unless I take a bath when he gets home. And if I do that he complains. Why waste water by taking a bath, take a shower. Or complains when I drink coke to help me stay awake. I shouldn't drink that. I should drink what he drinks..... Water, Milk or Oj. I try to talk to him but he never gets it. He makes it seem like my fault. Maybe we've grown apart I dunno anymore. I want to be happy, I want my daughter to be happy.
Mistake?
Kate, I agree with Paul. You need to be talking with your husband, whether with a therapist or not, about what you need to be happy and if you really want to work, maybe you can find a way to do that without having your pay all go toward day care. I would be depressed, too, if I had no choices, had no one to talk to and my husband criticized anything I did. Maybe you made a mistake, but maybe you just need to understand each other better, which takes time. Paul had some good resources for you, so hope you check them out. You are too young to be resigned to living a life somebody else wants for you and it's hard to get out of that rut once you're in it.
Please keep writing, maybe it will help you think things through a little more clearly, plus I know you'll find support here. Your baby needs a happy mom, she might even be sensing your depression and that's why she's being fussier lately. Let us know how you're doing, it's great that you found this site.
I don't know if you have made a mistake or not but I have got to give you credit for trying. You made an attempt to do it the "right" way--goodie for you. I wish this was turning out a little better for you, I can't relate to anything much except the depression. You sound a lot like me---sometimes, so it seems, the harder I try the worse things get. I never know what to do anymore about anything. I hope this will work out for you and try to stay as positive as you can while at home with your child. Become obsessed with making her a scholar/genius or something like that. You have got to deal with your husband without letting him get the absolute best of you and I know that is going to be difficult. Try to pray some and get out of the house.
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Was quitting your job your idea or was there pressure from your husband, as there is in what you drink, probably how you dress, where you go and what you think?
Read a post written by Merely Me, and if that doesn't apply, forget it. But if it does, read this one too.
There is the sometimes successful, if you get the right person, marriage counseling route, or seeing a therapist on your own, for yourself. To talk about these issues and maybe make things more clear. It could help your thinking processes over all these things.
Seems you need to get involved with some activities, if it is possible, out of the house and make some friends. Have a Mom's Night Out once a week where your husband watches the daughter and you go out with friends. Again, referring to Merely Me, she suggests a place online called Meetup.com which, perhaps, gives you information about many varied activities in your area.
If you haven't been able to tell by now, I'm just a visitor here like yourself. I'm hoping some with better ideas, and grammar, join in.
Well it kinda was forced.. Bc we can't afford day care or a babysitter. But I miss working, Ireally do. I think he is trying to controll me a little
Kate, here is another link to an article by Merely Me, it might help you find an affordable therapist to talk with. In fact, if you have time, you should go to her profile page and on the right, under recent Shareposts, all the way over, it says "view all." You might want to browse through the titles and read anything interesting and the comments made by other members are very worthwhile.
You should stick around and post more, or ask questions, or help answer some if you can; make comments and meet these very nice people here.