I just don't see the point!

Vic,

Please keep in mind that when we have depression our brains play tricks on us. Things seem pointless even though they're not.

Medications don't have to make it so "you don't even recognize yourself anymore." Been there myself, and the problem was that the medication just wasn't the right one for me. Thankfully, I called my doctor. We changed my medication, and with the right medication, I DO recognize myself again. That change of medications got me to the point where I recognized and liked myself for the first time in a long time.

When did you last talk with your doctor, Vic?  Please think about calling him or her?

If you want to talk, just reply to this comment. I'll be here to talk with you.

with a gentle hug,

Teri

Hi Vic

I can hear the pain and frustration in your writing.  Depression is like a vampire...sucking the life right out of you.  And the meds which are supposed to help us can have some difficult to handle side effects.  It is unfair. 

From what you are saying here...it seems it is very important to you to connect with others but you are struggling.  What sorts of baby steps could you take to make the connections you want to?  When I am depressed...the phone seems like too much energy.  Could you write to people instead or make the phone call a short one...just to say hello?  Sometimes in order to survive, we have to adjust our expectations.  Make just a few goals in the day to move you along to where you would like to be.  But do not beat yourself up when you are unable to do all the things you want to do.

I am glad you are reaching out here.   This is a great first step.  Hang in there and let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

Vic,

I spent many years on the "roller coaster" of anti-depressant drugs only to find out I really was on a roller coaster.  My sidekick was anxiety, racing feeling, like a spinning wheel stuck in the mud.  But for me it really was a roller coaster because I learned I was bipolar.  I always had the presentation of major depressive disorder, because I never had outward manifestations of manic behavior, except to talk a lot.  So, with my new diagnosis, my whole medication regime changed.  Now I take Lamicatal and Geodon.  Now, I am not even hinting that you may be bipolar, but I am saying that some of the atypical drugs have strong anti-depressant properties, and for me have given new life and new meaning in my life.  I finally am coming to feel like a whole person again, and am even losing weight.  So I suggest that you consider what I am writing, and with the severity of your depression, please talk to your doctor (hopefully, a good psychiatrist), about all the options out there for your depression.  You deserve a healthy and wholesome life.

Hi, may I ask why you are taking Percoset and Fentanyl?