9 years of hell

My oldest brother commited sucide at age 27  my middle brother died of cancer in 2006  my young brother died of throat cancer in 2003  my mom died 11 months ago of COPD..I am the only one left   I too have adult children and they keep me hanging on.  @ weeks after my mom died we got hit with a hurricane....i had 4 feet of water in my home.  Needless to say I lost it all..even the bed my mom died on.  I can tell you more if you want me too  let me know

I know people tell you that but I have lived it...realize that you can't kick the depression but learn to live with it.  Tell yourself its ok...it does not make you a bad person just a different and more perfect than the world can see.  I have found out that we think alot but I need to ask are you on any kind of medication?  You sound like you have BiPolar II along with panic and anxiety issues.  I have them too!!!  I can only advise you to seek professional help--I have to for the rest of my life and that is how it is.  Did you know that most BiPolar people have more artistic talents among other talents....find a hobby whatever YOU like.

Your soul is not at peace..been there done that since my wonderful dad passed away on 28 Nov 2007--You don't ever get over it but you learn to live with it.  Tell yourself is ok to hurt for your mom---its ok to cry--its ok..

I am on several medications thank goodness or I would probably be in jail today.  My temper is awful and I have been known to kick some butt and actually put people in the hospital and I never had a scratch on me.  SO take care of yourself and keep chatting with us!!

Hi Cherke55 today you leave Hell.  You are a wonderful person, and today is the first day for YOU!  Sadness no longer exist, life is now all about YOU!  Smile, and people ask you why, say, "just because" you are going to move forward from this point on with life, you are no going to let anyone push your buttons, you are now in control of YOU!  It is a eaiser than you think.  You will just have to get a take charge attitude!  Those who have gone on, have left wonderful memories in your heart for you to cherish forever, that is something that no one can ever take away from you.  Never be sad.  There is no shame in crying, if more people did it, they would feel better,it is a way of releasing stress.  Getting mad causes you to wrinkle your face not good, you want to look young, so we do not want wrinkles, trust me, just a beauty secret, I just threw that in (no charge ).  Life is good, smile, I always try to find humor

sherry/smomdukes

I dont have the answers to give any advise at all. but i will say that people try to understand why you are depression and cant understand it not about this or that it is something that controls your emotions and no matter how hard you try it seem to win. but i am with you on dont see things getting better I am looking into finding a support group for mood disorders . I think they covers all areas from happy to sad and in between and how to maintain it . I feel for the most part there is no way out also. I also have made alot of mistakes that people will never let me forget. I may not be the best person to respond to you if i feel the same. The one thing that holds me back from making a choice to to be here anymore is my family also and the main reason when you are very depressed with live in the moment of the sadness and I do belive in my own life I cant see anything changing based on too many people are against me.But if you can understand that if you make a choice like that it may end the pain here but if you truly belive in God then you know there is life after death and i couldnt imagine if depression has this strong hold over me and sad what would hell feel like. on the other hand your wanting and sometimes begging for the depression to end. My probably is sometimes i feel this way meaning down then sometimes i see there is a future for me but sometimes without any saying or doing something to me i get down again not thinking of a thing not self esteem or anything just hit hard like you can cry for ever . then hour later i can be find. what happen when depression takes over is so bad i know you have to feel no energy and no hope but rememember i guess that your kids love you and there got to be a way to control of these feeling. doctors and counselor and support group maybe can help but no one but medicine i think can balance the sad and happy . cause no talking will fix it but i think it will help learn how to deal with it. I lost my father years ago but think of them and i know sadness has to end but there sadness if you leave them will last forever. cause parents are important as your kids are important. understand there no fix but medicine to help is maybe the only thing that really can work. Hope it not that bad today i realize self esttem or anything just have a thing in the world to do with no wanting to move out of bed no wanting to wash dishes or take care of you. it may have to do with not being around people at times but more is into depression then people see is something that just makes you feel extreme sadness and tired like you dont want to more . we got to help each other i guess maybe this is our way to have friends that understand . i think all depression that is very extreme is all the same for us. leaves you feeling no hope in seeing a better tommorow . I have a kind of depression that keeps me from truely living a normal life but I know my family loves me and may get tired of these moods but they got to truly understand everyone that has depression i think tries everyday just going to work is trying and  not laying in bed. the good for me sometimes is depression will let up at times and i get happy sometimes depression will take it away again quick and sometimes it maybe a person. but mainly it depression that keeps me down and people can make it worse sometimes but assume it this or that. depression is a problem in itself . try to have a good weekend just couldnt not write to you everyone on this site has wrote to me when i needed it and it really did give me hope . hope you understand it not just you that feels it and family is the most important thing to hold on to.

I recently lost my mom 4 months ago and lost my job almost a year ago. I have a good husband and 2 great kids.  I would never hurt myself although I feel like I shouldnt be here.  My mother and several family members have clinical depression.  I really dont think many people understand depression.  they think you shoud just get up and be happy.  then you hear of all these drugs that can help you.  I really think everyone who truelly suffers from depression just want to feel normal...WHAT EVER THAT IS. I know that is how i feel.

every day