my husband has severe depression anxiety and paranoia

Dear Needs Help,

I think that you should go to http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/what-is-a-depressive-disorder.shtml

This will give you vital and valid information on your husband's mental illness.

I believe you can download an information sheet that would help you explain to others what the mental illnesses depression and anxiety are and also paranoia.   They will also tell you about treatment options.

Unfortunately, there is still stigma attached to mental illness.  We who have mental illness are trying to fight this in any way we can.

It is not uncommon for anxiety, depression, etc. to affect people's sex lives.

Has your husband signed consent for release of information so the doctor could talk to you about his illness and you to the doctor? 

We know that some medications for mental illness can cause sexual dysfunction.

Again, it is important to talk to the doctor because he or she can prescribe something

to help you both in this area.

I do understand, living with the same for over 15 years,   Do you get this from everyone       LEAVE!   my husband is bi-polar  with anixety  and paranoid about everything in life.    I work full time and my husband is home all day too!  At this point by himself,   all his friends have left because of the mood swings  so that causes all kind of depression.   Our children live in other states,  when they come home to visit with our grand children  he can't handle it and goes to his room.   They he cries about missing them.   For seven years  we had a doctor that was no good,  he has now lost his license   he was giving him massive doses of medication  and never no blood work.  All that medication  he took for all those years  has caused other health issues now.  His family doesn't deal with him, his mother makes things worse.  So I do understand.  Want to leave  but  can't  who will take care of him,  will he survive if I leave or will he commit sucide.  The medical professional  don't care   I was told once it's as good as it is gonna get  deal with it,   I have found no one that understands me!   You talk about the sex  did you forget about no form of physical love or affection  because they can feel that  anymore.   So I do understand   and I cry with you hon.   I thought I was all alone.

Hi!  I'm dealing with a brother with severe depression and anxiety.  I came home to my hometown after he had a suicide attempt.  Since then he's been hospitalized.  My dad is taking care of him.  He has extremely negative thoughts about everything, and hammers away at me about how unstable my life is and how I should change careers (I have my own very successful business in fashion which he views as totally unstable and flaky) and run my life differently despite the fact that my life is obviously successful.  He puts a bizarre negative spin on everything, and can't be reasoned with (of course, he is not sane right now!)  I'm trying to figure out what my role is and how I can be helpful.  Today I got very upset when he started saying that my lifestyle was going to lead to my son being taken from me and out in a foster home, and other negatove things about my mothering and my son's development.  All these things he's saying are totally unfounded.  Then he talks about his certain death, how he will be dead in a few days, 'I won't make it after Dad goes' etc.  He talks non-stop gloom and doom in so many directions.  I can't figure out how I should respond to all this crazy talk.  I try to reassure him that my life is OK etc. but he won't hear it.  I try to calmly listen, thinking he needs an outlet and needs to feel someone cares about his worries, but I worry that may validate them.  He is getting ECT treatments now, so hopefully that will make a change and break this cycle of extreme worry.  At one point today I said, "Maybe rather than focussing on my life, we should talk about your life and how you can get well".  He replied, "Oh I'm not going to get better" etc.  I feel so helpless.  I had high hopes of coming here and showing I care and at least being able to relate to him in some way, but I'm not seeing much of the brother I had before who was funny and ironic and liked to do things (not to mention had a hold of reality.)  Does anyone have ideas of how I should respond to his crazy negative fears?

Oh sorry, I just posted a comment and got so into describing my own crazy situation I didn't mention that my reason for posting was just to say "you're not alone".  So many families are suffering with mental illness, and it hard and baffling.  I wish I had a great insight for you, but I'm struggling along with my own situation.  At least I can reach out and let you know you're not alone.  It is very, very hard to deal with. 

I had a period with my husband where he was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and it's a very similar thing.  In fact I feel drug and alchol abuse is like a chemically induced insanity.  He was very hard to deal with, in very similar ways that you describe.  One thing that saved my sanity was going to some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is for the family members of Alcoholics and addicts but the principles would apply to someone living with a mentally ill person.   It provided a group of people who didn't judge me for staying with him, and who just knew and understood how hard and crazy things were.  The main idea of Al-Anon is focussing on creating a life for yourself seperate from the person who is driving you crazy (not necessarily leaving them, but having mental space for yourself so you're not consumed by their illness.)  I would suggest this group or another support group like it (there is a group in my city for the friends and relatives of the mentally ill FROMI).

my boyfriend suffers from some of the same symptoms. He is depressed all the time he has severe panic attacks and he is convinced he is dying. He is paranoid about everything and the simplest thing such as a tv show or  amessed up fast food order will cause him to have the darkest most horrible mood swings. He refuses to take medication because he doesnt trust doctors. he drinks everyday instead. It is horrible watching someone you love go thru this . i am at a loss our kids are suffering. When he is at his lowest everyone feels it. Ill do anything to help him but there are times when he is afraid of me and thinks I want to hurt him in the night. I dont want to leave him I am committed to him and I love him. I would never turn my back on family if they were sick. It is very frustrating because I see his freak outs as being ridiculous at times. He isa paranoid about dying but he is killing himself with alcohol.I cant pretend to understand what goes on in his head. He is very honest and good hearted man. Everyone loves him. He will be 30 soon and he is missing out on a great life because of his illness. Our life is good our kids are healthy but he can rarely see the positive and focuses on negative. He has been thru horrible traumas that I cant understand. I just want him to get help but I dont think he ever will. He thinks everyone is out to get him. This is so hard I have cried myself sick over him.

Yesterday was my 7th wedding anniversary......not a sole in my family even breathed a best wish for me yet it is right now I would need it most.  My family doesn't get it because in my opinion they don't want to.  If my husband had Cancer or any other condition I would be showered with support yet Mental illness is not for a lack of a better term "good enough a reason"

They seem to think that the medication is some sort of magic potion that will just make him all better, but when he suffers the side effects of it (sleeping all the time, stomach problems etc) they call him lazy and attention getter.  He feels this and tries to conquer his problems without the meds...things turn bad, loses jobs, becomes irrational, ends up in hospital.

My Mother has even gone so far as to tell me I am a bad Mother for allowing my kids around him.  Yes, I do feel guilty my children have to see their Father like that...all drugged up or depressed but how would they feel seeing him homeless which is what my Mother seems to think will "smarten him up".

I do go through a lot however I will never forget that once my husband told me this, "If I could make this go away I would but I can't, I can only try to cope. It is my illness and I live with it and I watch how it effects you....it breaks my heart"

I pray to God everyday, every single day to fix his mind.  I pray for forgiveness towards him that I have so much anger some days but most of all I pray for the strength to stay and hope I am doing the right thing.