my husband has severe depression anxiety and paranoia

By sunrise Thursday, July 03, 2008

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i want someone to talk to someone who understands.no one understands me at work i have been through it but it frustrates me now.I have gotten better and my husband is still sick and he suffers.i have a job and he sits home and worries.I am 31 and he is 45.when we met he was in college.I sometimes want to leave him when i am overwhelmed with his paranoia question like,Am I going to wake up tomorrow?it boggles my mind and when i am trying to move forward ,and our sex life well we have none,because of his meds.he is on a stack of them while I am on on 3.please if you can hellp or be of any support please conntact me it is hard my mother never understood me and no one at work understands i want to get the stigma out there. why do they hide?

overwhelming anxiety

Comments (26) | Add comment

rev soc bloem

7/ 8/08 10:15am

Dear Needs Help,

I think that you should go to http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/what-is-a-depressive-disorder.shtml

This will give you vital and valid information on your husband's mental illness.

I believe you can download an information sheet that would help you explain to others what the mental illnesses depression and anxiety are and also paranoia. They will also tell you about treatment options.

Unfortunately, there is still stigma attached to mental illness. We who have mental illness are trying to fight this in any way we can.

It is not uncommon for anxiety, depression, etc. to affect people's sex lives.

Has your husband signed consent for release of information so the doctor could talk to you about his illness and you to the doctor?

We know that some medications for mental illness can cause sexual dysfunction.

Again, it is important to talk to the doctor because he or she can prescribe something

to help you both in this area.

caroleluv1

4/28/11 11:22pm

I know what you mean about your husband's paranoia. I have been marries for 43 years and have lived under paranoia and control. It wasn't so bad when he was working, but now he not only has not worked for the last 3 years, and he has developed extreme depression and anxiety. I have to work to keep the bills paid and he feels I'm never home and tells me I want a wife to make him 3 meals and have someone to talk to because he is always alone. I have thought about suicide and have been so unhappy for so long. We haven't had sex for the last year and of course I blame it on the medication he is taking and his depression. He thinks he has all sorts of health problems and we are consistly going to doctors for various reasons from back problems to bad stomach problems. He reads all of the labels at the store when we go shopping and will only eat certain foods. He follows me around the house, even to the bathroom when I get ready for work. I never have my space to go shopping and can't go out without him. He complains constantly about the drivers of other cars, people in stores, stores themselves, etc. He is so miserable and I truly believe he wants me miserable, friends in low places!! I would have committed suicide along time ago, but my kids need me and I live for them and my grandchildren. Life is cruel and I only believe in God and getting away to work. I love dancing and he won't let me, he thinks it is stupid and "who would you dance with"? i HAVE LOST SO MUCH INTEREST IN LIFE!!

Helpless in NJ

5/13/11 5:24pm

I can see myself in you. I truly understand what you're going through. My husband's paranoia started maybe two years ago and it's getting worst everyday. He hasn't work for more than 10 years. I never complained nor pressure him to get a job because I'm the type who tries to avoid conflicts at all times. He has mood swings and I'm afraid to say anything that will trigger an outburst. He said he wanted to make big money so I can stay home and be a wife. The problem is, he doesn't believe in W2 and thinks he can do better with trading. We paid thousands of dollars in training materials. He said I should invest in his education. I so wanted him to make something for himself that I consented to pay for these. I have indebted myself and in the end he lost that money. After the HELOC, he forced me to get my 401k so he can trade FOREX. That to went to nowhere. Now that there's no loan to get, he went after my salary. I let him set up my online bill pay because he said I'm too busy to take care of this. That was a mistake. When he had control, he deliberately postpone payment of some bills. In the end, I found out that he hasn't been paying the mortgage. He ruined my credit. But that's not the end of it. Everyday, is a struggle. He keeps reminding me that we have a cash flow problem and keeps on asking to divert the mortgage payment so he can have some cash to trade. He follows me everywhere at home and wouldn't give me any space. He makes sure that he drops me off to work and picks me up after. Being at work is a relief to be free from him. Also, when he talks at home, he will talk on my ears which is really annoying because he's breathing on me and I have no personal space at all. Whenever he wants to talk, we have to talk outside because he said the whole house is bugged. He embarrased me several times when were outside by asking ridiculuous question to people who he thinks is listening to our conversation. I'm getting tired of listening to him because everytime he opens his mouth, all he talks about is how he is being followed and being harrassed everyday. Sometimes, I don't know if I should just leave because I'm afraid he might just flip out one day.

Please let me know what you have done so far.

Anonymous

7/ 9/08 9:34pm

I do understand, living with the same for over 15 years, Do you get this from everyone LEAVE! my husband is bi-polar with anixety and paranoid about everything in life. I work full time and my husband is home all day too! At this point by himself, all his friends have left because of the mood swings so that causes all kind of depression. Our children live in other states, when they come home to visit with our grand children he can't handle it and goes to his room. They he cries about missing them. For seven years we had a doctor that was no good, he has now lost his license he was giving him massive doses of medication and never no blood work. All that medication he took for all those years has caused other health issues now. His family doesn't deal with him, his mother makes things worse. So I do understand. Want to leave but can't who will take care of him, will he survive if I leave or will he commit sucide. The medical professional don't care I was told once it's as good as it is gonna get deal with it, I have found no one that understands me! You talk about the sex did you forget about no form of physical love or affection because they can feel that anymore. So I do understand and I cry with you hon. I thought I was all alone.

sunrise

7/13/08 12:16pm

i have been waiting for you.please email me if you can. the other day my husband cut his wrist.that took away his paranoia for the time being now he has depression.sometimes i just like people to talk to.about everyday things about this stuff.it is so hard because no one wants to here it and no one understands.sometimes i want to leave but if i did i would have to tell him in front of his therapist.i am in the process of getting my license.he brings me down sometimes and i know i can be happy.email me please.dawn

Debbie

7/14/08 12:14am

Hi Dawn, I am sorry you had to deal with the cutting of the wrist, I too look for someone to talk to about everything, My family and his family are tired of hearing about things, some of them don't realize how bad things get because it's a mental handicapp not a physical. I do have control of things, I have had him admitted to the hospital a few times, because he feels sometimes he don't need his medicines well now he knows that if he doesn't take his medication, I will not stay, I can't . This mental handicapp is hard the medicine is all trial and error . Just recently I noticed a big change at night he would get very irratated or depressed, So when we went to his doctor told him, I thought we needed adjustments in medication, found out his inhalers have steriods which mess with his medication. It's always something. I work out of need for money because he became sick to young and didn't have enough quarters worked for regular disability so we get SSI which is so little but also work for my sanity. Can you get out and do things beside work? I can't I go to work come home and take care of things here, on good days he does help out in the house. Does your husband have any hobbies or anything. I have tried everything to get my husband interested in something, so he wouldn't sit home and be depressed. The one thing he does like to do is spend money he is trying to buy happiness it works for a couple of days and then it is something else. The doctor told me that was part of the illness. But I did start my own little business last year and I sell on the internet also I do alot of crafts (It's good for stress). I don't know if you have any faith in your life, 3 years ago I joined a church that changed my life I don't always get to go but I get my strength from what I have learned through the church and also a excellent preacher that is on tv and wrote some wonderful books Joel Osten. Do you's two sit and talk about his illness and what it is doing to yours and his life? For so long I let him take me down that depression road. I tried to stay positive ( I know it is so hard ) I do know that if you are gonna leave you do have to do it with his doctor, do you go with him to the therapist, I do and he works with us as a couple I bring up things that would be hard for him to handle or things that make me crazy!!! I will check on this site everyday now it feels so good just to spill our guts doesn't it.

sunrise

7/14/08 6:50pm

hi.I feel like leaving too.he kisses me because of his depression,and he hugs me too.but i have all these feelings for him.he stuck by me when I was dealing with the same illness,I am happy when I am in my garden.and we have 4 cats.they make me happy.the people that tell me to leave are ignorANT.I am getting stronger everyday.now I am beginning to trust in the higher power.I hope someday you can too,it is not his fault.not our fault,when i was going through anxiety and depression,no one understood.if you leave i wish you well and good luck in your life.but i will stick by my man.

Debbie

7/15/08 10:38pm

I have my faith, that is what has got me through everything, I am not going any where either, We have been married 32 years this July 24th, and only been dealing with this the last 14 years. When he was well I was a pampered princess, so now it's my turn to take care of him. You know as well as me there are good days and there are bad days. My I too do stuff that makes me happy and it gets me through and like I said I found a great church that has taught me how to gain strenght from the Lord. I hope you didn't the wrong impression I never told you to leave him I just said if you did you would have to go through the therapist. I would never leave my husband, there are days that I have had enough and then a new day starts and everything is good. So you take care and stay strong if you ever need to spill you guts just reply to this and I will listen.

sunrise

7/16/08 1:12pm

he just started 3 new meds,and i am in the process of getting my license.i have friends but i always have to go there.i need new friends.they should understand.i do not like staying home alot but i like my garden.i like my husband.,i know he has issues,and maybe someday he will get better.but i do not want to drown my self on the negative.for better or worse.

Anonymous

1/15/10 1:26pm

I have a husband who I "suspect" is paranoid, and it's impossible to live this way, there's no way to relate to him, he says he can't trust me and suspects me of poisoning his meals, so for the past couple of months, he's been buying his own food and heats it in the microwave, he has a bunch of his own groceries that he carries back and forth to his truck daily so that I can't poison anything. It went from that to accusing me of putting water in his boots, and now today, he's convinced that I've done something to his toothpast because his teeth bled. There's no way to communicate with this man, he doesn't trust me with no reason to feel that way, we're both seniors, he's 84 and I'm 73, I'm home all of the time, I just don't understand any of this, it's very difficult. One minute he's appears "normal" and then he lashes out at me. He said today he's going to a state trooper to report me on all of these situations, I pray that he actually does that. I wish I had someone to talk to, I just don't know where to turn or where to go, but hate living like this knowing how short life is and after having invested all of these years into a marriage that turned out like this, I do a lot of praying and have a strong faith, but in reality, I know my husband needs help, but there's no way he'd ever agree with that, so where does one go in this kind of a situation? HELP!

Meja

4/ 5/10 8:06pm

My husband turned all the dolls around in my daughters room because they were staring at him. He says the house and phone is bugged and makes me go outside so he can whisper things to me. He always says they are listening. He has a Messiah complex as well. Says he was sent here to be the final witness. One minute he's fine and the next minute I'm dealing with Satan himself. He can't keep a job now because of this crap and I really need help here. I don't even know where to start. Please help. Tell me how to begin the process of getting him help.

lighthouse

6/15/10 7:12pm

I can certainly appreciate the comments made on this subject and no you are not alone. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and he has moments of good with his job and family and then for weeks he will hardly go to work and it causes so much financial difficulty. He will be fine all day and then get anxiety about going to the job so calls in AGAIN. These time cause so much termoil with his job that is a new one gotten a year ago, that he will probably lose, and termoil in the marriage, because I have had my fill. I feel bad for him, but can't keep hiding from bill collectors because he won't go work. I work full time, but it isn't enough without his pay. I know about the sex too, there is none. The sex has gone to about once in a two month period and it is absolutely not anything near noteworthy. It is done in a flash there is no passion or romance at all. He acts like he just don't care about it. I am afraid to leave that he will want to committ suicide. I feel so frustrated.

Anonymous

6/16/10 1:40am

I'm sorry that you're going thru that but I feel relieved to know that there's actually someone else beside me going thru it. I'm 37 years old and I've been married for 15 years. My husband is exmilitary and spent almost 18 months in Iraq. He came back in 2005. I've noticed the changes but currently we are separated because of his behavior. Everything started about a year and a half. He started out by unpluging the fire alarms from inside the house because he believed there were hidden cameras in there, next, he believed that every tv we had in the house had hidden cameras. we changed to 5 computers in a year because he believed that they were buged. Forget about the phones I changed almost 10 phones in a year because according to him they were bugged. He took the radio, dvd player, and speaker out of my truck because he believed that there were hidden cameras and microphones somewhere in my truck. He beliefs that the fbi is looking for him. Finally, he told me that he can't trust me or my family because we are supposly working for the fbi and want to see him in jail. That's went i packed up and left with my kids to the northeast area to see my family. I don't feel comfortable near him anymore and i'm currently filing for divorce and child support because even though i love the man, i know deep inside he won't let me help him. I told him in so many ways that he needs help, I even brought a psychiatrist group over the house and explained to them his paranoia symptoms and put him under 2 different kind of meds. He took them for a week and stoped taking them. I feel that i ran out gas and have to look out for my kids first than him. That;s why i left him. All i wish for him to get help or find someone else to let him see how serious his problem is. I hope he will never hurt himself or somebody else. He currently lives by himself in an apartment with no tv, radio, computer, microway, or phone. All i can do for him is pray. God bless him always.

willbedone

1/21/11 9:32am

Hi Dawn

I definitly understand what your going thru in regards to your husband cutting his wrist. I've known my boyfriend for 13 years we dated in highschool then went our seperate ways for about 10 years and recently started dating again. There was the honeymoon stage then things randomly got upsetting. little fights turned into wars it seemed. Beyond the verbal abuse i took there was some pushing nothing too violent, more then I'd like to happen. Anyway, these fights always begin with him having anxiety, then he can't sleep, then it doesn't matter what you say or do your wrong and he's just mad at the world.And onetime he also cut his wrist, he said i wasn't paying attention. i myself am very calm and rational so i dialed 911 and had him removed to the hospital. He's willing to go to counseling or go to a doctor for proper medication but he just recently started a job so money is short at the moment. I'm hoping to get him proper help and work things out and i can tell sometimes he really tries to not lash out. He told me he would do better and he really has, but i think without the medication there will always be the eruption eventually. honestly i do love him but sometimes it hurts so much to do so but i'm willing to see if the medication can make the situation better

caring sister

7/12/08 6:27pm

Hi! I'm dealing with a brother with severe depression and anxiety. I came home to my hometown after he had a suicide attempt. Since then he's been hospitalized. My dad is taking care of him. He has extremely negative thoughts about everything, and hammers away at me about how unstable my life is and how I should change careers (I have my own very successful business in fashion which he views as totally unstable and flaky) and run my life differently despite the fact that my life is obviously successful. He puts a bizarre negative spin on everything, and can't be reasoned with (of course, he is not sane right now!) I'm trying to figure out what my role is and how I can be helpful. Today I got very upset when he started saying that my lifestyle was going to lead to my son being taken from me and out in a foster home, and other negatove things about my mothering and my son's development. All these things he's saying are totally unfounded. Then he talks about his certain death, how he will be dead in a few days, 'I won't make it after Dad goes' etc. He talks non-stop gloom and doom in so many directions. I can't figure out how I should respond to all this crazy talk. I try to reassure him that my life is OK etc. but he won't hear it. I try to calmly listen, thinking he needs an outlet and needs to feel someone cares about his worries, but I worry that may validate them. He is getting ECT treatments now, so hopefully that will make a change and break this cycle of extreme worry. At one point today I said, "Maybe rather than focussing on my life, we should talk about your life and how you can get well". He replied, "Oh I'm not going to get better" etc. I feel so helpless. I had high hopes of coming here and showing I care and at least being able to relate to him in some way, but I'm not seeing much of the brother I had before who was funny and ironic and liked to do things (not to mention had a hold of reality.) Does anyone have ideas of how I should respond to his crazy negative fears?

Debbie

7/14/08 12:56am

Be proud of your life, Have your own business in the fashion industry and raising a son. I was a buyer for women's clothes and family shoes at a 107 year old dept. store for 25 years I worked hard but to own your business and raise a son Be proud of yourself. My husband used to try and take me down that road won't let it happen anymore. Yes they are sick and there is reason for them being downright nasty and negative to us but it's no excuse, They have to be held accountable for what they say, because mental abuse is still abuse and it's just as bad a physical abuse and sometimes worse. Do you talk to your dad about all this, do they have him on medication and has it been over 6-8 weeks since he started taking it, if yes well then it may not be the right meds because he is still talking about death. I do understand what you are saying about not seeing your brother, I used to cry to have my old husband back, You are a great sister and a good person I know I am a great wife and a good person, All we can do is love them, but we have to love ourselves too!

caring sister

7/12/08 6:37pm

Oh sorry, I just posted a comment and got so into describing my own crazy situation I didn't mention that my reason for posting was just to say "you're not alone". So many families are suffering with mental illness, and it hard and baffling. I wish I had a great insight for you, but I'm struggling along with my own situation. At least I can reach out and let you know you're not alone. It is very, very hard to deal with.

I had a period with my husband where he was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and it's a very similar thing. In fact I feel drug and alchol abuse is like a chemically induced insanity. He was very hard to deal with, in very similar ways that you describe. One thing that saved my sanity was going to some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is for the family members of Alcoholics and addicts but the principles would apply to someone living with a mentally ill person. It provided a group of people who didn't judge me for staying with him, and who just knew and understood how hard and crazy things were. The main idea of Al-Anon is focussing on creating a life for yourself seperate from the person who is driving you crazy (not necessarily leaving them, but having mental space for yourself so you're not consumed by their illness.) I would suggest this group or another support group like it (there is a group in my city for the friends and relatives of the mentally ill FROMI).

e b m

7/26/08 10:13pm

my boyfriend suffers from some of the same symptoms. He is depressed all the time he has severe panic attacks and he is convinced he is dying. He is paranoid about everything and the simplest thing such as a tv show or amessed up fast food order will cause him to have the darkest most horrible mood swings. He refuses to take medication because he doesnt trust doctors. he drinks everyday instead. It is horrible watching someone you love go thru this . i am at a loss our kids are suffering. When he is at his lowest everyone feels it. Ill do anything to help him but there are times when he is afraid of me and thinks I want to hurt him in the night. I dont want to leave him I am committed to him and I love him. I would never turn my back on family if they were sick. It is very frustrating because I see his freak outs as being ridiculous at times. He isa paranoid about dying but he is killing himself with alcohol.I cant pretend to understand what goes on in his head. He is very honest and good hearted man. Everyone loves him. He will be 30 soon and he is missing out on a great life because of his illness. Our life is good our kids are healthy but he can rarely see the positive and focuses on negative. He has been thru horrible traumas that I cant understand. I just want him to get help but I dont think he ever will. He thinks everyone is out to get him. This is so hard I have cried myself sick over him.

sunrise

7/28/08 4:34pm

some people do drink away their problems.when he starts taking it out on you and your and his children then you know you have a problem.unfortunately he needs love.he needs god,and god is alll he needs.through his trauma,and believe me i have had one,he has lost touch with reality and through alcolhol he has no way to feel.I did and do the same thing when my husband is sick.I don't want to admit it but i tried to smoke and i couldn't.but i know when to quit.there might be a day that he hits rock bottom and there might not be.i am here for you and will talk when ever you need to. i understand email me anytime.

sunrise

7/28/08 4:40pm

why do you say your kids are healthy and then say they are suffering?which is it?how old are they?do they know about there fathers disease?maybe its time for an intervention?

phee

10/14/08 3:18am

Yesterday was my 7th wedding anniversary......not a sole in my family even breathed a best wish for me yet it is right now I would need it most. My family doesn't get it because in my opinion they don't want to. If my husband had Cancer or any other condition I would be showered with support yet Mental illness is not for a lack of a better term "good enough a reason"

They seem to think that the medication is some sort of magic potion that will just make him all better, but when he suffers the side effects of it (sleeping all the time, stomach problems etc) they call him lazy and attention getter. He feels this and tries to conquer his problems without the meds...things turn bad, loses jobs, becomes irrational, ends up in hospital.

My Mother has even gone so far as to tell me I am a bad Mother for allowing my kids around him. Yes, I do feel guilty my children have to see their Father like that...all drugged up or depressed but how would they feel seeing him homeless which is what my Mother seems to think will "smarten him up".

I do go through a lot however I will never forget that once my husband told me this, "If I could make this go away I would but I can't, I can only try to cope. It is my illness and I live with it and I watch how it effects you....it breaks my heart"

I pray to God everyday, every single day to fix his mind. I pray for forgiveness towards him that I have so much anger some days but most of all I pray for the strength to stay and hope I am doing the right thing.

Karen

5/ 1/09 11:02am

Hi I have the exact same problem as you.I am 62 and my husband isclose to 60.No sex or even holding or hugging.I am still very sexual and miss the sex and that conection you get only when you make love.He goes for hiding in the bedroom to drinking and being as ass!!!!!!!!!!

anon.

6/19/09 11:45am

Hi~ My husband and I have been together for 8 years. He has these moments where he dosent wanna go to work, and he totally freaks out in these sweats, no matter how cold it is, and winds up quitting jobs, he is so close to being a shut in. He wants to move out in the woods and grow his own food so he dont have to talk to people, but I refuse to live in the woods. So he wont go. I love him with all my heart. It is sooo draining for me, I thought for a longtime he is just being a drama king, now I just dont know, I dont know what to do, he hates pills, he hates doctors. All I can do is listen to him vent... He says he isnt a suicide person, but will it get to that point? What do I do? Crumble up some Zanax in his coffee? We are SO opposite, I am outgoing and people person, he he isnt.... What can you do????

Anon

11/ 7/09 6:42pm

Anon

Hi, I am in a very bad state too, my husband and me, we used to stay togather before marraige for sometime, he used to doubt on me many a times, but i used to think he will be alright, he finally decided to get married to me and i am married for more than a year now. But immediately after marraige he started accusing me of infidelity, I have never ever had an affair, (please believe me), but he started accusing me and sent me back to my parents, he said he will only call me back once he feels like. I beared with it, but he never used to call me when i was with my parents, so i thought he wont call me back and filed a for a divorce. As soon as he came to know about it, he tried contacting me, i wouldnt pick up his calls first as i had made up my mind, but he constantly used to call me. Out of sympathy i did pick up a call of his and he convinced me to come back. But after me coming back to him, he again started to behave badly, he never used to take me out, never even for a walk, and now he again abuses me and says that i am having an affair, he wants me to work, but i suspect that he will doubt me at work too. I dont know what to do. Please please please advise me what to do..... I am clearly tensed.

Anonymous

12/29/09 11:40am

Please, please, please listen to me - you need to completely, 100% abandon this situation immediately - with no turning back, no accepting phone call, nothing. Get a restraining order if you have to. You don't mention your age, whether you have children, etc., but this man will destroy your life if you let him. I know of what I speak. I met my husband when I was 19 years old - I'm now 48, with two children. We married when I was 32, after years of his cheating, lying, and belitting me. Why would I do that? Self-esteem is a tricky thing, I guess. I finally got my wits about me and have been separated from this man for five years, but unable to divorce because he has such chronic (self-inflicted) health problems that he needs my insurance. He is now dying from his lack of self-care and paranoia (won't take medications for chronic diabetes, heart disease, and now finally, end stage kidney failure). I have supported him for years, along with my two beautiful children - selflessly, with the hope he would some day "snap out of it," but he never will. Just yesterday, in spite of all the Christmas presents, money, attention, company, etc., he accused me of breaking into his house and stealing his father's watches, his clothing, etc. Clearly delusional - but devastating nonetheless.

GET OUT NOW!!!!!! There is a beautiful life out there for you - please grab it with both hands and don't let go. This man will destroy you if you let him.

foss

1/11/11 11:22pm

I hear and see your answer and that is how I feel about my situation but I am afraid.I have been with my husband 10yrs,married almost 4yrs.1yr after we were married Mar2008 he started to have these psychotic episodes. they were very strange, he said & did things that were not normal. he was taken by ambulance 4 times due to these.The police had to be here too cause he is over six feet and 200lbs.the doctors were baffled for more that 1 year. they thought it could be complex seizures, I went to at least 100 medical appointments with him. I had to take time off work because he started getting depressed and suicidal.1.5yrs after the onset of this his psychiatrist has diagnosed him with a rare form of bipolar. he is on meds and has not had an episode since boxing day 2009.after he told me he was bettter my mother who lives with us (his idea) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.I then had to take her to all her treatments & appointments for 8 months,almost weekly.this bothered him that all my attention was now on my mother who was dying. this angered me and I distanced myself from him. my mom died aug2010.in september i told him we had to separate as I could not take the depression and whining about how much attention I pay to him.I was suprised he left with no big fight. we agreed to work on our marriage and I whole heartedly did the first 2 months. then i realized that for my own health I couldn't live with depression anymore.he is very obsessed with me its almost scary. he crys everytime i see him, how he just wants to be with his wife.but in the next breath says he is probably not ready to come home.I know I am not ready for him to come home.I truly don't feel like the feeling will return for me but because of these episodes I am afraid what would happen if I left him.suicide?would he take me out too? this is what is holding me here. He has never threatened me and maybe I am overreacting but I need advise. he wants to take me shopping next weekend and feeling how I do I don't want to take anything from him. I was going to send a letter to him as he works in another province. the reason for this is I don't want him to come home and have to drive 4hrs being so upset.I do care about him and just want us both to be happy, unfortunatley we can't find happiness together.help!!!

my husband has severe depression anxiety and paranoia

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