i want someone to talk to someone who understands.no one understands me at work i have been through it but it frustrates me now.I have gotten better and my husband is still sick and he suffers.i have a job and he sits home and worries.I am 31 and he is 45.when we met he was in college.I sometimes want to leave him when i am overwhelmed with his paranoia question like,Am I going to wake up tomorrow?it boggles my mind and when i am trying to move forward ,and our sex life well we have none,because of his meds.he is on a stack of them while I am on on 3.please if you can hellp or be of any support please conntact me it is hard my mother never understood me and no one at work understands i want to get the stigma out there. why do they hide?


Dear Needs Help,
I think that you should go to http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/what-is-a-depressive-disorder.shtml
This will give you vital and valid information on your husband's mental illness.
I believe you can download an information sheet that would help you explain to others what the mental illnesses depression and anxiety are and also paranoia. They will also tell you about treatment options.
Unfortunately, there is still stigma attached to mental illness. We who have mental illness are trying to fight this in any way we can.
It is not uncommon for anxiety, depression, etc. to affect people's sex lives.
Has your husband signed consent for release of information so the doctor could talk to you about his illness and you to the doctor?
We know that some medications for mental illness can cause sexual dysfunction.
Again, it is important to talk to the doctor because he or she can prescribe something
to help you both in this area.
I know what you mean about your husband's paranoia. I have been marries for 43 years and have lived under paranoia and control. It wasn't so bad when he was working, but now he not only has not worked for the last 3 years, and he has developed extreme depression and anxiety. I have to work to keep the bills paid and he feels I'm never home and tells me I want a wife to make him 3 meals and have someone to talk to because he is always alone. I have thought about suicide and have been so unhappy for so long. We haven't had sex for the last year and of course I blame it on the medication he is taking and his depression. He thinks he has all sorts of health problems and we are consistly going to doctors for various reasons from back problems to bad stomach problems. He reads all of the labels at the store when we go shopping and will only eat certain foods. He follows me around the house, even to the bathroom when I get ready for work. I never have my space to go shopping and can't go out without him. He complains constantly about the drivers of other cars, people in stores, stores themselves, etc. He is so miserable and I truly believe he wants me miserable, friends in low places!! I would have committed suicide along time ago, but my kids need me and I live for them and my grandchildren. Life is cruel and I only believe in God and getting away to work. I love dancing and he won't let me, he thinks it is stupid and "who would you dance with"? i HAVE LOST SO MUCH INTEREST IN LIFE!!
I can see myself in you. I truly understand what you're going through. My husband's paranoia started maybe two years ago and it's getting worst everyday. He hasn't work for more than 10 years. I never complained nor pressure him to get a job because I'm the type who tries to avoid conflicts at all times. He has mood swings and I'm afraid to say anything that will trigger an outburst. He said he wanted to make big money so I can stay home and be a wife. The problem is, he doesn't believe in W2 and thinks he can do better with trading. We paid thousands of dollars in training materials. He said I should invest in his education. I so wanted him to make something for himself that I consented to pay for these. I have indebted myself and in the end he lost that money. After the HELOC, he forced me to get my 401k so he can trade FOREX. That to went to nowhere. Now that there's no loan to get, he went after my salary. I let him set up my online bill pay because he said I'm too busy to take care of this. That was a mistake. When he had control, he deliberately postpone payment of some bills. In the end, I found out that he hasn't been paying the mortgage. He ruined my credit. But that's not the end of it. Everyday, is a struggle. He keeps reminding me that we have a cash flow problem and keeps on asking to divert the mortgage payment so he can have some cash to trade. He follows me everywhere at home and wouldn't give me any space. He makes sure that he drops me off to work and picks me up after. Being at work is a relief to be free from him. Also, when he talks at home, he will talk on my ears which is really annoying because he's breathing on me and I have no personal space at all. Whenever he wants to talk, we have to talk outside because he said the whole house is bugged. He embarrased me several times when were outside by asking ridiculuous question to people who he thinks is listening to our conversation. I'm getting tired of listening to him because everytime he opens his mouth, all he talks about is how he is being followed and being harrassed everyday. Sometimes, I don't know if I should just leave because I'm afraid he might just flip out one day.
Please let me know what you have done so far.