ok where do i start my severe depression started almost two years ago my best friend at the time and i were living in a apt. i couldnt of been more happier i was out on my own had a good paying job and i was intrested in this girl at work. at this time when i started talking to her and trying to get to know he was going behind my back and trying to "get with her." at the time i didnt thing oh it but when he started getting closier to her then me i got upset i let it go and didnt say anything. a few months later i met another girl and was happy and went out for a bit i broke off and a week later the same person he slept with her and didnt even tell me. so i got back together with her didnt even know that it happend. the same thing happend and this time it was with my other friend that she had slept with. i didnt hear it from them i heard it from one of my other friends. ive been to the hospital three times over these situtions and now i find my self going through it again having racing thoughs im like im going to end up alone ive already lost so many people i have no one. i feel like i did it to myself and they are going to tell me its me who shut everyone out of my life. do you really blame me. im not happy either way its either still be friends with them and still get crapped on or stop being friends with them and lose my whole social circle but i think if i were going to still be friends with them it would lead to a path of destruction towards myself and them. its mostly them im worried about cause i feel like hurting them 10 times more then they hurt me. yea i know im crazy but revenge is a dish best served cold