hi
I am tired of not taking care of myself
At the same time I am emotionally drained
I started crying thursday for no reason
For the last couple of days I didnt care
I go thru cycles of trying and not caring trying and not caring
Going in circles not knowing what to do
Gio
Hi Jon, I know exactly what you mean. Its like Monday is bearable, Tuesday is a nightmare. Depression does that to you. It can be a sign of Recovery too. One step forward, one step back.
i try and plan something for each day as its so easy to just exist and then we have too much time for thinking about things, mistakes, things we should have done, said, beating ourselves up.
I havent much money and I live alone Jon. I try and go out. Today, I felt very stressed and am still weak after the Flu. I pushed myself out. It was like climbing a mountain, didnt feel like doing it.... youve got to push yourself.
MOVE THE BODY AND THE MIND WILL FOLLOW..... once you DO get out for that walk, you will feel better. You get Cabin Fever just staying indoors. Esp when its just you and your Mom Jon.
I went to a bookstore today, I was very hot and Cold and my head was pounding but I still felt much better mentally when I came back home.
Maybe write down - 'Will try and go for a walk tommorow' or will try and go to the Library or whatever. Dont beat yourself up over it if you cant.
If you can help your mom in the Laundry and you feel up to the noise, that would be good for you, to feel youre doing something good for somebody.
Isthere anyone old you could visit? You have alot to offer.
You get great photos. You have a very Artistic Eye.
Would you feel up to a photography class ? or even just making enquiries about it. Take care, 
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Hi Jon,
How are you not taking care of yourself? What would taking care of yourself mean?
I think it's natural for all of us to get tired of caring sometimes. I do too. But then I give myself an afternoon off and not have to care. I may eat junk food and read news stories. Then I forgive myself and start again to eat well and do something good for myself.
Marishka
Hi Marishka, Good advise ! Im like that, during depressions I dont eat well, then the next day, I feel abit better, make homemade soup and have a healthy meal, then the next day, Im back to black again and its Junk food or just a sandwich.
I dont think we can beat ourselves up as Depression [for me anyway] can take me by chance and I literally wake up one morning and can hardly wash.
Take care, both you and Jon.