Jon, I hope you aren't too hard on yourself.  I think you do the best you can and I've seen you be supportive of other people here.  Maybe some day in the future you will be able to more supportive if you want to, but sometimes we're just in a place where we can't be, and we're the ones who need the support.  My guess would be that you're quite shy and maybe fearful of how others will react to you, so it would make sense that you wouldn't be able to always say the right thing to people when they need it.  I think the more you let people know you, the easier it will get.  How can you support other people when you have a hard time supporting yourself?  I mean that in the sense of being kind to yourself and not putting yourself down because you don't measure up to some kind of standard.  There aren't a lot of people I know who would actually own up to their shortcomings, so just the fact that you are telling us what you think you need to do better is a big thing.

I'm sure you are your worst critic, Jon, and that's probably the case for most of us.  All we can do is our best at the time and there's nothing wrong with that.