life is short and futile

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Monday, September 28, 2009
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I sit at my computer and look at the rain.

I think it has more of a purpose than I do

I keep asking myself what would I most like to do before I die?

I'm losing one more friend.

I still feel the vacancy there; also in my eyes.

Friends are hard to come by;harder yet to keep.

Jon

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You do have purpose!
Merely Me
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 03:32 PM

Hey Jon

I know...when it rains it seems to magnify depression doesn't it?

Friendship seems to be a big want and need in your life. I am sorry you feel that you are losing friends. Do you want to tell us more details about this? All of us lose friends because of many different reasons but...it doesn't mean that you are worthless or that your life is futile.

You are a good person Jon. You matter. You have made me feel happy with your poetry lately.

Please don't give up...

re: You do have purpose!
jpw2008
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 03:50 PM

I ask to know how to get a friend, I even wonder what a friend is.

I feel like i'm blind.

When I was younger I had specific goals to achieve.

I don't thonk I ever achieved any of them.

When I look to the west .... my soul has a yearning for leaving.

What if am going to die i'm thinking how would act.

I always dread tomorrow.

I know its coming.

Something terrible.

I guess its something wonderful too.

Jon

re: re: You do have purpose!
Merely Me
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 04:08 PM

Jon...

we do not want you to die or even worry about dieing. we want you to stay. we need you here. and....each day is a new opportunity to find some joy in the world.

There is a lot of good too.

Keep writing...

re: re: re: You do have purpose!
jpw2008
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 06:12 PM

Can you find joy without friends?

I have chronic loneliness.

I am sometimes happy and sad at the same time.

It's very strange

Maybe I should live in a fantasy world its a little more predictable than this world

Better yet I'll dive into the sun

Jon

re: re: re: re: You do have purpose!
Merely Me
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 10:38 PM

Hi Jon

I think it is possible to feel happy and sad at the same time.

I have spent time in my life with no friends at all...especially as a child. It is extremely hard but can be done. I turned to books for comfort. But I think you probably do have friends...I think you may want more from friends than sometimes they are able to give. There are different levels of friendships.

What sorts of things do you want from a friend?

Friends
Judy
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 09:07 PM

Jon, I'm guessing that friendship is a big thing right now because of your friend who is dying (or maybe already has?). You called this person a friend - that proves that you are capable of having friends.

I was watching the movie the other night, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and this old lady told him that it's necessary to lose people so that we know how valuable they are. It is, unfortunately, one of the facts of life, that we don't live forever and that some people who are our friends won't be there forever for whatever reason. But still, we are capable of meeting and knowing others who will add to the richness of our lives. Maybe there will be times when it will feel like we have no friends, but I don't think that is really true. Even now, you feel like you have no friends, yet there are a lot of people on this site who would be your friends if you'd let them.