I am glad you got a chuckle from the post!  It is good to know that there are others out there.  I am usually on the computer in the evenings and would enjoying chatting. 

I work but am currently on a leave of absence.  I try to stay busy but sometimes my mood gets the best of me.  I find that reading on the internet is one way to stay in touch with the world.  Due to problems concentrating (depression related) it is hard to read books. 

Hope to get to know a little about you.

Take care.

I can relate very well to the difficulties both with work and with reading. I have had to take leave of absence multiple times in the past. Other times I have simply had to leave my job. That just happened last April in fact. It has been a reoccurring scenerio with jobs my whole life.

I am just now trying something a little different for making a living. It's a work from home sales thing. Kind of an interesting thing this company I found provides. Have no idea how it is going to go, espiecially being that I am not in the greatest frame of mind. But what can ya do? Just try I guess....

I wish I could just relax and get into a good book, but I too find it next to impossible to concentrate while reading. The mind just wanders, mostly on to whatever is going wrong at that particular time, and it's like I never read the whole paragraph I just finished.

Though I can hold some interest in reading about depression and in particular the mind/brain. Self help books also can keep my attention at the right times. Right now I am reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle.

I am not real good at talking about myself, though I am an open book when asked...if that makes any sense. You can ask me anything. I guess waht I mean is if I know someone really wants to know, I will tell. Otherwise I just kind of stay under the radar. It is especially easy to open up to someone who can relate to my condition. People who suffer from this already know a lot about each other.

I can give you the basics to start though. I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (one older, one younger) and 4 sisters (3 older, one younger). I am 5th in line of all of us. Originally from Buffalo, NY and have lived in South Carolina for about 3 years now. Still feel a little like a stranger in a strange land here. Haven't made any real connections here. The depression really gets in the way of that. One of

God I am so frustrated now......I was in the middle of a fairly lengthy reply to you and I hit a wrong key and lost it all. I have learned the hard way to very careful to make sure what I write comes out the right way when writing e-mails or whatever, so I had spent a lot of time on it. I would like to throw the computer out the window right now.

I was commmenting on the difficulties with work and how hard it is to concentrate when reading when one suffers from depression. I too have had to take leave of absence more than once in my past. Either that or just had to quit, which happened (again) recently. I am just now trying something else and really not sure how it is going to go or if I'm even up for it, but have to try. I have managed to get some pretty decent jobs in the past, but work has never been a real stable thing for me. Could just never keep it together for any great length of time.

And reading is a chore. My mind just wanders, mostly to wahtever is going wron at the time or what I think is going to go wrong, and its like I never read the whole paragraph I just finished. I go back and reread it and its like I never saw those words before.

I have found though that reading up on depression and the mind/brain does keep my interest. Crazy huh....the thing that haunts me and that I most want to get rid of is the thing that keeps my interst most. Though I gues that actually make a lot of sense.

I try to read self help stuff too. I am reading "A New Earth" by Ekhart Tolle right now. But I still really have to be in the mood whatevet it is that I read.

I'm not great at offering things about myself, but at the same time I'm an open book when asked, if that makes any sense. I guess what I mean is if I know someone really wants to know, I will share anything. You can ask me anything. It is especially easy to open up to people who can relate to my condition. Those who suffer from depression already know each other in many ways.

I little bit about me though....I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (one older one younger) and 4 sisters (3 older 1 younger). So I am 5th in line. With all my brother's and sister's families, I have 21 neices and nephews....love them all like my own. I have never married or had children, so it's nice to have relationships with them. I absolutey love kids. Though many of them aren't kids anymore.

Originally from Buffalo, NY and have been living in South Carolina for about 3 years now. Lived in New Jersey before coming here. The move down here was job related, but that all fell apart after the first year. I still feel a lot like a stranger in a strange land here. Haven't made any real connections. The depression really gets in the way of that....and everything else.

My one sister and her family live in Florida and my older brother and his family live in North Carolina. So I do make trips to see them once in a great while. My sister's is a 6 hour drive and my brother's is a 3 hour drive, so its not like I make the trip a lot. And the ride to Buffalo where the rest of most of the family is 12 hours by car and the job situation beig what it is doesn't allow for a lot of filights, but I do manage to make the trip on occasion.

That's me very breifly. Good to hear from you. Again, you can always ask anything. For now, take good care.

Hi Greg.

I have used your line many times lately---"I'm not crazy, just depressed."  And I can relate to wanting to throw the computer out the window.  I don't have a window at work and somedays that is a good thing!

I am married, 2 kids, 2 dogs.  I have the perfect life if only I could get the brain chemicals to cooperate. 

How long have you been dealing with depression?  30 years here although the last few years have been consistently tough.  No hospitalizations.  I am on my second psychiatrist.  I have been seeing her for 3 years and I really like and trust her.  Trying a new med tonight--reluctantly.  This is in addition to the SSRI and SNRI.  Wish me luck! : )

Hope you are having a good day.  Take Care.

Greg,

Thanks for the nice comments!

It really sounds like we have a lot in common!  Even our age!

I am currently in an outpatient program.  It is pretty good.  I find it helpful to talk and help others.  I also see the doc everyday.

I do guided imagery, get a massage periodically, bought St John's Wort (didn't try it though!)

I used to be very physically active but due to two lung surgeries (related to emphysema, not a smoker either) I can't do much in the way of physical activity.

You mentioned your sister dealing with depression....any other family members?

Take care.

Well good for you on doing the outpatient work! Mine was a good experience, though a lot was taken away from it because there was a lot of pressure to return to work.....I was on leave of absence.

Ahhh, guided imagery. I did that also. It was an optional thing for us and the room was always full. Incredibly relaxing. I have promised myself many times that I was going to get in to meditation.....its still on the list of many changes/ addtitons to make. Where does one find the time?

Interesting that you say you enjoy getting AND giving help there. That says a lot. I have found that many people that suffer from depression have an incredible amount of compassion for others. I don't think that is just coincidence. Another of my to do's is to get into volunteer work.....would like to do something with children....good for the soul.

And a message once in a while.....heck yeah! I used to be very good at getting to the gym on a regular basis and messages were available there.

I am sorry to hear of your medical condition. That alone must be quite a challenge. I found out about 6 years ago that I have type 2 diabetes which was a real curve ball. I have always been very active and fairly health conscious. But it runs in the family. My grandmother, who just passed recently, had it. And I have a young neice who has type 1.

Yes, there is definitely a history of depression that runs in my father's side. Actually my father has suffered from it terribly for most of his life. He was well in to his 40's before it was "figured out". Back then he actually experienced a lot of manic depression, which is really crazy stuff. The manic doesn't happen very much if at all anymore, but he still has serious episodes of depression.

So, basically me, my father, and my sister have "IT", a couple of my cousins have it, and then there are several in the extended family form my father's side that have/had it. Certainlly a genetic thing going on there.

I have to admit I have not been very good at getting to church in a long time. But He is very much a part of my life. I come from a large Italian family and was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic high school. We all went to church as a family when we were all young. This whole experience with depression has certainlly strengthened the spirituality in me. I go to Him a lot.

Love dogs! What kind do you have?

Hi Greg,

We have 2 Golden Retrievers.  They are 13 months old. 

Last year, just after Christmas we had to put down our yellow lab.  She was 13yo and was having terrible hip pain.  She grew up with our boys so you can imagine how hard it was to lose her.  I knew I wanted another dog and was watching the paper and found a family that had bred their dogs.  Well......we planned on getting one puppy but after seeing nine all cuddled up and cute as could be we ended up with 2!  We have a male and a female.  We had our female spayed but still need to have our big guy fixed.  "Drake" has, on a few occassions gotten aggressive with "Mia."  This is very out of character for Drake.  I think he just needs to be fixed.  I've not had a male dog before but I think a trip to the vet will mellow out his "moments!"

You want to work with kids sometime?  Do you have kids of you own?  I'm sorry if you mentioned this before but I don't remember.

I hope New Years Eve is good to you.  Here's hoping next year is better!!

Take care.