Think The Worst of Everything

GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

BE HAPPY WITHIN YOURSELF AND DON'T LOOK FOR HAPPINESS FROM SOMEONE ELSE. OF COURSE SOMEONE ELSE CAN ADD TO YOUR HAPPINESS BUT IT'S INSIDE OF YOU TO , SO REACH INSIDE , PULL OUT THE NEGATIVE AND GRADUALLY ADD THE POSITIVES IN YOUR LIFE AND CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU DO HAVE INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU DON'T. TAKE CARE OF YOU, LOVE YOURSELF AND ALL THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE.

FIND A SUPPORT GROUP AND STICK WITH IT, READ POSITIVE LITERATURE AND BRING OUT THE WONDERFUL PERSON THAT IS INSIDE OF YOU. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT AND THE GOODNESS AND SMILES WILL SOON BE REAL.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.  Even though we have very different stresses in our lives, I think many of us here can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I am going through similar relationship issues with my boyfriend who just can't comprehend how hopeless and joyless my life has become lately.  But I've gone through several periods of depression before and am trying to nip this one in the bud (or at least not let it get out of control). 

One thing that helps is to take even just a few minutes every day to do something for myself.  I spend so much time every day beating myself up, that I have to remind myself every day that I WANT to be happy, I WANT to get better, and take a small step in that direction.  Some nights (like tonight) I like to browse around here to remind myself that I'm not alone, and lend support where I can.  Other days I might take some time to read books that make me happy, or have a cup of tea and just be alone with myself without judging, just accepting.  I try to do this especially when I feel like crying to my boyfriend or fuming at him for not helping me the way I think he should.

It sounds like you have a particularly busy schedule, but I hope you'll try to find a few minutes in the day to just take care of yourself.  You deserve it every bit as much as your children and your mother.  I think logging on here was an excellent first step!

I have had good results with wellbutrin in the past.  if its not working, you might talk to your doctor about adjusting your dosage--it sometimes takes a while to get it right.