Falling1

Hi, I tried to reply before but the system must have been down or something because it wouldnt go through.  My family is patient, however my daughter also suffers from depression so we support each other.  Im on Effexor now, the only thing that helps me.  Ive been on them all.  I truly hope the Zoloft works for you!!  it does take time though, wish it didnt because when you are really down you want to feel better now....you hang in there too and keep in touch, it helps.
reply

Im sorry you feel like that too, its tough living life like this day in and day out, and I also question the purpose of life, whats it all about? We just keep going forward year after year to what end? death, oh im getting too depressing here, i dont want you to feel worse than you do.  see how i think though?  Not normal at all. I hope you can find some purpose.  How old are you?
reply

no, actually i had very loving parents, altho i dont know about the incubator....do you think that is why I feel detached from myself and life?  Sometimes I feel like im watching everything around me from somewhere far away.  Its a horrible feeling.  But thanks for taking an interest.
reply

  My story is that I moved a long way away from my family 8 years ago. I became very depressed and was on medication. I sought help from some Christian people who prayed for me. God took me back to the time when I was first born. I live in England. I was born at the end of November in 1946. This was the coldest winter on record here. The temperature was below freezing for more than 3 months. It was also just after the second world war and there was no central heating and coal was on ration. In order to keep me warm, my parents put me in the smallest room in the house and burnt all their coal ration in keeping a fire going for me 24 hours a day. This was very kind of them except that it fed into my baby mind that I was abandoned, spending far too much time alone detached from my parents. When God (who is eternal!) took me back in my memory to that situation I engaged with the pain of it and sobbed my heart out. That was painful but afterwards the pain was gone and the depression that went with it.

You see we work by association. A friend of mine has a dog which will not allow me to stroke it. This dog was beaten by its first owner, a man, this planted fear of men in its memory. It now has a negative emotion, fear, and has believed the lie that will be abused by any man who gets near it. We are wired up the same way! What is going on in the present echoes back to some negative experience in our past and we get a double whammie of pain and feel depressed.

Another friend of mine who lives in the US was due to be coming to see me over here. He has a little dog who he dotes on. He is a multi millionaire business man. He bought the tickets to come over but then the dog fell ill and was expected to die. He e-mailed me to tell me about the dog. Three days later he called to say that for 3 days he had come into his office, locked the door, turned off the computer and the phone and sobbed his heart out! He wanted to know what was wrong with him! I told him he was experiencing over again the sense of abandonment he felt when his mother died when he was 10. He is now 70! Do you get my gist?

People who could help you can be found at Elijah House, Ellel Ministries or Pastoral Care Ministries. Look up their web sites.

Why go on medicating the pain when you can be rid of it?!! Jesus heals today just like he always did!

                                       God bless you,

                                                          Graham.

reply

Thank you for being so kind as to talk to me.  I agree with you entirely.  My abuse began at the age of 18.  I was married too young to an alcoholic who beat me, cheated on me, etc.  When I finally had the courage to leave, i met another man who was the same way, why I did that Ill never know, he was a bad alcoholic, i found him trying to sexually abuse my little girl, thats when I left, after 13 years of hell.  I thought about it and attribute the way I feel by the things that happened to me in the past.  Also, I was very close to my father and he died of cancer when I was 15.  So all of this contributes to my depression now.  I need to let go and let God.....thank you.  Peggy
reply

 Thank you for being brave enough to share all that painful stuff with me. I knew there must have been a story in there somewhere! Dont get the impression that all us men are a bad lot- there are some good guys out there. Do follow up my suggestions for getting some help though. There is a way out of your horrid depression I assure you, and the folk I suggested will be delighted to help. Do let me know when you are free of it. It does not have to take very long to sort it. God bless you greatly and may you have a wonderful future free of sufferring.
reply

Hi.  I think the multiple trials of medication have made me worse, so i took myself off of them for awhile, but had to go back on, I felt suicidal., or i guess i should say that i was obsessed with dying, the idea gave me an inner peace, but I am too afraid to ever do anything.  the meds im on now are helping me, so lets pray i can stay this way.  Early orning awakening and when it begins geting dark at night  are my two worst times.
reply