Today is my 35th birthday and I should be happy. My boyfriend and my daughters made a cake for me. I got nice gifts, but its and effort for me to smile. I want to go to bed. Doesnt anyone else know how much energy it takes to keep a good front going. Im sick of it, I want to feel "normal" oh god what if this is normal? I work all day then I come home hoping for the least amount of interaction as possible, then I cant wait for bed. I dont have to think, talk, feel or worry when Im sleeping. Im sick of being depressed.