Birthday

By Jen Thursday, November 15, 2007

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Today is my 35th birthday and I should be happy. My boyfriend and my daughters made a cake for me. I got nice gifts, but its and effort for me to smile. I want to go to bed. Doesnt anyone else know how much energy it takes to keep a good front going. Im sick of it, I want to feel "normal" oh god what if this is normal? I work all day then I come home hoping for the least amount of interaction as possible, then I cant wait for bed. I dont have to think, talk, feel or worry when Im sleeping. Im sick of being depressed.

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greg

11/16/07 1:29pm

Hi Jen, I celebrated my birthday a few months ago, and I felt the same way. What I have realized is if I do some physical work, I tend to feel better. I really hate being down most of the time, but from what i understand eventually you come out of it, hopefully forever.

Greg

diane

11/18/07 1:48pm

I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling - I know how it feels! You are making the motions but as soon as possible you think about going to bed because you just want the day to end - and it goes on like that.

I'm 50 now and have finally made the changes in my life and lifestyle that have helped me overcome serious depression. There is a history in my family also of suicide (my grandfather) and only three years ago I lost my 18 year old daughter to suicide.

I made it through. I hope you can, too. Get the help you need -- even if you have to turn to community resources.

It can be survived and I hope I never go back to being so depressed. I am very careful now - but I am also very happy.

s.p. barry

12/ 7/07 7:06pm

Jen,

I just happened to find this website because I'm concerned about my 12 yr.old daughter. But when I saw the date of your birthday, I had to add a comment. My mother(now deceased) had the same birthday. She was manic-depressive(now known as bi-polar disorder) Growing up with my mother in and out of hospitals was extremely difficult. I was always worried that I would suffer the same fate. Thankfully I do not, however I've been taking Wellbutrin and Effexor for several years now. I was taking Lexapro but wasn't really feeling any better. If the meds you're taking aren't helping your depression I would strongly recommend finding a doctor who will be able to provide you with the proper meds and the appropriate dosage. There is absolutely no reason for you to continue to feel the way you do. Its all trial and error when it comes to this stuff and your doctor has to be willing to go through this process until he gets it right.

Dee

12/14/07 5:48pm

Yes I know what you mean about keeping up a front--isnt enough you worked all day now the family wants you to interact? Maybe you need a little time to yourself to transistion from work to home time and I know about birthday blues I have hated birthdays for so long and even though others try to make it nice I just wish they would leave me alone! YOu must do something to change your mindset so you will feel better-best wishes!

Birthday

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